By thatwasmiz - United States
Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML
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  glitterkuro  |  18

To #10, yes, those are extremely personal and upsetting questions for somebody who is transgender.

It's perfectly possible this woman was transgender and pissed off by your remarks. No transwoman wants to be told that it's obvious that they're trans. Your questions about her penis, whether or not she has one, was very rude. Also the whole "pre-op or post-op?" question is also pretty rude. Some trans people choose not to have full surgery, some do, it doesn't make their gender identity less valid. A lot of people finding it upsetting to be asked things about their body parts, what their 'birth' name is, etc.

And I know this from spending some time in the LGBTQ* community, going to gay bars, making friends and listening rather than asking deeply personal questions. Most people who frequent gay bars should know these things so as to make everybody else who frequents feel as safe as possible.


By  mlleangelique  |  3

Oh FFS. Tips for the future:

1) Don't ask someone who is trans if they're pre- or post-op. It's sexual harassment and none of your ****ing business.
2) Just don't ask anyone about their genitalia unless you're very likely to soon be sleeping with them. Same as above applies.

Basically, in the situation above, it would be perfectly reasonable for anyone - transwoman, drag queen or cisgender woman - to have you thrown out.