By who knows - United States - Mankato

Tell me the reason

Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

547

You deserved it

3237

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Miscellaneous

Proactive

Our house, in the middle of our street

Rich people problems

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32943

You deserved it

2257

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By Anonymous - Denmark

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47815

You deserved it

3860

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By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose

Today I started a new job, I found out that my employer doesn't follow the labour laws and my new co-workers are planning on reporting the owner of the company. The owner is my father, and I want to help them report him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7019

You deserved it

781

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By kb - United States

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32036

You deserved it

2429

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By Anonymous

Phoney sex

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1919

You deserved it

495

Favorite

By workaholic

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9261

You deserved it

33161

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Unhappy birthday

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1977

You deserved it

183

Favorite

By xricardo - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36897

You deserved it

26283

Favorite

By drama_queen - United States

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27651

You deserved it

3825

Favorite

By Marjorie - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31122

You deserved it

3409

Favorite

By Archie - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

I agree, your life sucks

27387

You deserved it

4202

Favorite

By asdfas - United States

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10876

You deserved it

45944

Favorite

By onlyme123

Today, I got a phone call. I thought it was just one of these toll free numbers that were always calling so when I answered the phone, I said, “City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?” It was my college calling to discuss my grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1864

You deserved it

3654

Favorite

By Oops - Australia

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29945

You deserved it

6062

Favorite

By gl0b3suck0r - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24326

You deserved it

4593

Favorite

By Anonymous - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28108

You deserved it

2364

Favorite

By misspriss - United States

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29871

You deserved it

2807

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By tapeissticky591 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12871

You deserved it

36406

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26392

You deserved it

3252

Favorite

By SmileEveryday - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

91916

You deserved it

20355

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Piliyandala

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33968

You deserved it

2534

Favorite

By altocrm - France

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42244

You deserved it

4216

Favorite

By Dudeman5000 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22551

You deserved it

5816

Favorite

By areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47342

You deserved it

3251

Favorite

By uhoh901 - United States

Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12912

You deserved it

51906

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By brebis - France

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9295

You deserved it

70918

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39296

You deserved it

10206

Favorite

By katta2009 - United States

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36256

You deserved it

2572

Favorite

By Justaddwater - France

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25460

You deserved it

3234

Favorite

By BathroomDweller - United States - Omaha

Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4821

You deserved it

363

Favorite

By aww, such a nice guy. NOT - United States - Dodge City

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41296

You deserved it

6633

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

139991

You deserved it

22727

Favorite

By sigh - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26585

You deserved it

2489

Favorite

By csully - France

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7148

You deserved it

26653

Favorite

By rachel - United States

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27635

You deserved it

8552

Favorite

By gerontofuck - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44756

You deserved it

4623

Favorite

By anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72924

You deserved it

12744

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27577

You deserved it

1614

Favorite

By lpara89

Today, my 7-month pitbull chewed up a framed picture of my parents and another framed picture of my other pitbull. Maybe he's mad I don't have any pictures of him framed yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4075

You deserved it

912

Favorite

By Vac - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. They informed me they were lawyers throughout the meal, which explained the gorgeous house. My boyfriend excitedly told them I was promoted manager at my job. They asked where I work. I work at Burger King. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59479

You deserved it

8703

Favorite

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Top comments

By xica_sp4ever | 18

#7879948 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 14:02

Good, someone has some sense at least. Let the toxicity stay in 2019.

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7879965 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 14:58

Well, seems like you clearly weren't supposed to use your phone, so YDI. And why would you text a cheating ex anyways??

COMMENTS

By xica_sp4ever | 18

#7879948 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 14:02

Good, someone has some sense at least. Let the toxicity stay in 2019.

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7879965 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 14:58

Well, seems like you clearly weren't supposed to use your phone, so YDI. And why would you text a cheating ex anyways??

By RichardPencil | 30

#7880006 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 17:02

I hope you mean ex-friend.

By zhawk316 | 5

#7880007 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 17:03

Why you texting someone who should be dead to you? Don’t hurt yourself more. You look like a moron and make him laugh.

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7880039 - Wednesday 5 February 2020 19:02

So your FML is that you were stopped from doing something you'll regret?

By lifeis4me | 20

#7880135 - Thursday 6 February 2020 2:27

Was this “someone” a teacher, OP? Seems pretty convenient to leave out.

By Sasswise | 4

#7880284 - Thursday 6 February 2020 17:43

Keep that someone in your life. Those people are healthy.

By Robert Ohlschwager | 1

#7882010 - Wednesday 12 February 2020 23:12

that is a good friend then