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The all-time greatest FMLs

Masking off

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, I moved in with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own. I now pay 100% of the bills and can't leave because I can't save to replace my stolen/totaled car. I also can't drop my mask at home because 33 is apparently to old to be autistic, and I'm so tired and burnt out. I'm also not allowed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 152

Call the cops

By Matt Steele - 04/02/2021 14:01

Today, after they said being a dad is fun, after saying that you got to do things when you were a kid… Well now, I'm at the lost and found of the city, asking, "Have you seen my kid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 534

I dunno, fam

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 17:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my 37 year-old cousin said she wants to cheat on her long-time, loving husband because she never got to have any fun in her life. He would never do it to her. She told me this information because she thinks I would "understand" her situation. I really don't know what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 134

Late stage something something

By Ben - 16/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Lakewood

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 96

By Anonyme - 26/02/2013 07:12 - Madagascar - Mahajanga

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual attention. He woke me up by putting a slice of ham on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 161

She'll calm down

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally stood up to my mom and told her that as an introvert I desperately need some time alone to just recover. She, being the bitch queen of the extroverts, translated this in her head to, “I hate this family”, so she screamed at me, called me ungrateful, and made me homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 147

Lads being lads

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 77

You must be joking

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 22:00

Today, my friend is mad at me because I refused to be a bridesmaid since she’s getting married at a plantation. I asked if she’d get married at Auschwitz or somewhere else of great suffering. She called me a drama queen and blocked me. Sorry that I, a black woman, don’t wanna go to a plantation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 415

Daycare is open

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 07:00 - United States - Logan

Today, I woke up with viral pink eye in both eyes. I work at a daycare and half the staff got it. We live in a state where there's mandatory sick time for all employees but people still take their sick kids to daycare. It's been a month of pink eye in my facility and I feel like it's never going to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 102

Working from home, the pros and cons

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 08:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I was WFH on a video call with my team when my toddler barged into the room. As I tried to calmly guide her out, she managed to turn my Bluetooth speaker on, which started blasting "Baby Shark" to my entire team. They now have a new nickname for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 216

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 79

Talk is cheap

By Tris - 12/09/2019 16:00

Today, my co-workers keep making fun of me because I said, “You’re very so welcome.” They say it's not proper grammar, but honestly I can’t find anything that says I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 2 145

Sounds like a keeper, actually

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 1 877

By ikolo - 25/02/2012 07:37 - Malaysia

Today, I broke my leg while riding a bike. The doctor couldn’t help laughing when he saw on the X-ray that the broken tip of my bone looked like a puzzle piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 53

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 3 580

Fighting fit

By Michael - 24/02/2024 18:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, after training for 3 months for a marathon, three weeks from race day I tripped and fell during my last long run and cracked a rib, so I took ten painful days off. I decided to go try a short run to see if maybe I could still try the race, and got attacked by a German Shepard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 126

Nope, just nope

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 78

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 172

The call of the wild

By not outdoorsy - 10/07/2020 14:02

Today, I haven’t been camping since I was a kid. I decided to give it another shot. I bought all the best equipment, researched all the great locations, planned a whole weekend. Turns out I still fucking hate camping and now I’m out over $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 2 232

Coping

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 498

Entitled parents

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I’m being painted as some monster for sticking my horrible parents in a home. Funny, none of the family members castigating me are willing to let my awful parents move in with them and ruin their lives, yet I’m supposed to make room for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 104

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 228

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my health insurance refuses to pay for either contraceptives or the small surgery to get my tubes tied, even with a doctor’s note confirming I need it. They are quite happy, however, to pay for any number of abortions, subsequent therapy, and/or complications during childbirth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 98

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 18:00 - United States - Fox River Grove

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 199

The noise of God

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 19:00

Today, my neighbour shouted at me for starting my car early in the morning because "a decent, God-fearing man" has no business going places in the dark "when Satan is about his wicked business." I’m a priest and I have a funeral to prepare for this morning. That's about as un-Satan like as you can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 71

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 06:00

Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 168

Asshole design

By mala_19 - 22/09/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 104

By Deathrace - 17/05/2011 13:08 - India

Today, I was on an adult-orientated website when my mother entered the room. I closed the webpage as fast as I could by clicking everywhere. I discovered later that, while panicking, I clicked on “share on Facebook”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 411

By dane - 29/06/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 42

There must be more to the story…

By Jobless - 22/05/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally mistyped "one sec" as "one sex" in a group chat at work. I apologized and corrected myself immediately, but some bitch with too much free time was so offended that she reported me to HR anyway. I'm suspended while they look into it, and my girlfriend is convinced I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 106

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend refuses to attend my wedding, all because I’m marrying her ex. He left her for me but didn’t cheat. We just fell in love and he had the decency to leave the relationship before starting to date me. She refuses to understand that no matter how hard I try to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 5 021

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 189

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 659

You deserved it 6 337

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 220

You deserved it 10 028

Today, I received an e-mail from a place I'd interviewed at, telling me they won’t be offering me the position. They came across an old Twitter account of mine, where I posted X-Rated content and sometimes stereotypical and dark humor. I don’t even remember the e-mail and password so that I can deactivate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 1 351

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 116