The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Charity

By HashimotoGirl - 02/11/2023 07:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 158

Experiment with awkwardness

By awkward times two - 21/07/2022 14:00

Today, I got a new trainee at work. She was the experimental one-night stand I’d had several months back and never called again. She kept making remarks about how excited she is to be working under me again and winking. This is gonna be a long couple of weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 1 396

Wipe time

By brad - 16/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 143

Teenage riot

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 107

By Anonyme - 19/09/2010 04:44 - Algeria

Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to scream what is written on all the road signs at him, and tell him to which way to turn… so he can point the car in that general direction and hope for the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 66

Meritocracy is a myth

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 06:00

Today, I have worked my ass off this year on two projects, trying to prove myself and earn a raise. Well I proved myself capable all right, next year they’re giving me 5 projects to manage, and that raise, yeah, it’s no longer in the budget. Maybe next year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 160

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 742

Unfair!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 08:00 - France - Paris

Today, I was fired because of a "poorly executed" task. My boss claims that I just copypasted an existing document in a new file; I was instructed exactly to take the document and move its content to a new table without changing anything. It was discussed beforehand, but looks like his own messages are not a proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 101

Lost the plot

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I went to Subway. A lady was in the line with her toddler. The kid screamed in his bid for attention, while his mother and the cashier ignored him, to the point that his voice became a loud screech and the sandwich artist couldn't hear me. I bellowed, "SHUT THAT KID UP!" Silence and glares followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 400

Prank wars

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 113

Insular

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent many hours applying for many scholarships. When the sites asked for my e-mail, to let me know if I'd won, I gave them my school e-mail, one that I often check. I then come to find out the school doesn't let e-mails from outside the school system be sent or received. Lost thousands of dollars as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 877

Oh hell no

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 131

Childcare

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I never know who’s going to have my kids during their dad’s weekend. He drops them off with just anyone as he goes partying, but calls the cops if I pick them up early. Last week they were with his girlfriend’s brother; before that it was her uncle, and before that her cousin. All total strangers to the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 93

Love is love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 10:00 - Sierra Leone

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 180

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 91

And then I go and spoil it all…

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was ecstatic my autistic son went on a play date. It went wonderfully and my son was happier than he’s ever been. Sadly, the dad was such a damn creep he hit on me every time the kids were out of earshot. I don’t want my son to lose his only friend but the dad makes me so uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 78

This is going to suck

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I, an extreme social introvert, who can’t stand being around people for more than 10 minutes, has just been diagnosed with an incurable brain disorder that will increasingly require other people to be around me to monitor me and run my life. All of which, to me, feels worse than having the disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 162

Home sweet home

By Anonymous - 21/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 120

**** ICE

By Melinna - 06/10/2025 03:00

Today, the lady whose house I clean insists I stole her Hermes bag. I never went into her closet when cleaning; just her kitchen, living room and bathrooms. Apparently, it's worth $4000. She threatened to "call ICE and Homeland Security" if I don't "cough it up." I'm a naturalized citizen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 74

Run for cover

By scaredycat - 28/01/2024 06:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, the most manipulative man I know decided he's going to get me to be his next wife. I'm still in therapy after breaking free from growing up in a violent and manipulative household. He's working with me, so there's limited options of getting out of his presence. I'm scared for my sanity and my freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 161

How the turntables…

By You gotta be kidding me - 25/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife announced her support for Donald Trump for president, someone who vehemently is against immigrants. She herself is an immigrant from Colombia, who became a naturalized US citizen last year. She became this way because she was undocumented and I, a US citizen, married her so she could have papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 466

Back and forth

By coolrunnings1021 - 05/07/2021 14:01

Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 23:01

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 1 207

Nature trail

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 20:00

Today, I went crashing through shrubbery looking for the hiking trail that goes so nicely along the lakeside. On second thought, the trail looked very slightly different on the map. Turns out it’s not a trail at all – I'd been trying to hike the county line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 574

By FromBerryToE - 02/02/2010 16:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend made spaghetti Bolognese. He put the sauce with the pasta, in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 45

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 03:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 22:00

Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 2 450

Hell in a handbasket

By Depressed - 01/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I live in a country where people are debating something called "The big, beautiful bill." The bill itself is terrible if you're not a sociopathic rich person, but the media is actually using that name. Big beautiful bill. Are we a nation of children? If so, well, googoo gaga I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 274

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 21:00

Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 169

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I’ve had to get the police involved since I’ve been harassed, stalked, berated, and threatened by the wife of the man I was seeing. It doesn’t matter that I have hundreds of texts, DMs, and his dating profile that says he’s a SINGLE dad whose wife died tragically. She’s still coming after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 134

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out that I'm just one of the millions who got scammed by what seemed to be a legit website. None of the negative reviews or bugs appeared until after I spent a fortune of someone else’s money on a server that will never arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 581

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 354

You deserved it 7 542

Today, I tried to compliment a coworker on her new haircut, saying, “Wow, it makes you look so much younger!” She raised an eyebrow and replied, “You mean I looked old before?” My brain short-circuited and I followed up with, “No, no, you just… looked older.” Everyone within earshot laughed while I wanted to crawl under the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 247

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered, "Slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 593

You deserved it 22 119

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 467

You deserved it 5 194

Today, I got notice that I didn't get the new position I applied for at work. After two interviews, pay negotiation and paperwork, as well as years of giving this place all my time, I found out my boss gave it to his friend's daughter, who has no experience or credentials needed for the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 105