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Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

#13081151
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (8681)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by happy bday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (4824)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (5770)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (1841)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

#18644293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:39pm - misc - by tickle spunk - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (17143)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (2703)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (20659)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (3797)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (2640)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)



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