Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (6331)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (11335)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (2875)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (4075)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (4671)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3864)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (8123)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (1632)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, I changed all my plans, after months of him begging me to, so I could go to the same university as my long-term boyfriend. After I sent in my deposit, he told me we couldn't live together in college because I was "invading his space." FML

#13259314
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (13294)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:31am - love - by stupidgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (2429)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: