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    : 320



    WTF doc?

    Anonymous - 20/11/2023 21:00

    Today, my doctor confirmed I’m pregnant, but she phrased it as, “I’ve got some bad news for you, you’re pregnant.” I could be wrong but should a health professional automatically assume a pregnancy is unwanted? Plus she’s spent months helping us with fertility advice. FML
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    Welcome to a movie from 1953

    Anonymous - 26/04/2022 16:00

    Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to be in the room whilst I gave birth. He offered to wait in the waiting room, but only if I gave birth on a weekend, and if it was a weekday he’d be too busy at work. I reproduced with this guy, and this isn’t the meanest thing he’s ever said to me. FML
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    It's not THAT hard

    Anonymous - 14/11/2020 05:07

    Today, I found out how hard it is to actually change light bulbs. I work with electricians. FML
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    What did you do?

    Anonymous - 04/02/2024 05:00

    Today, at my niece's christening, I was outside with family when we suddenly heard shouting and the priest pushing my husband outside while screaming, “GET OUT OF MY CHURCH!” Friar Tuck style. It’s been six hours and husband still won’t tell me what he did that upset a priest that badly. FML
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    Nuts

    Almost neutered - 02/07/2023 23:00 - United States

    Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML
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    Spider-man

    Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

    Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
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    Charming

    Anonymous - 02/12/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, a girl I met on Tinder described herself as curvy and sent me pictures. We agreed to meet and let me say… those pictures were at least 10 years and 15 stone ago. She was no longer curvy or even just overweight, she was grossly obese. I could smell the unwashed skin under her fat rolls. FML
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    Train guy

    silenceisgolden - 23/03/2020 01:39

    Today, a guy on the train was using his phone really loudly, asking Siri to call a bunch of people, or using voice command to do the most menial things. He was really, really noisy. It's only after I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to be quieter that I noticed the white cane next to him. FML
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    My life is a romcom

    Lucky girl - 23/08/2023 04:00 - Canada

    Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML
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    Mythbusters

    Anonymous - 21/08/2022 12:00

    Today, my wife asked me to come upstairs, all sexy like. I was sceptical, but I went upstairs after her. When I got there, she handed me a drill and told me to finally get on with building the flat pack dressing table. This is the reason I am sceptical. Romance is a lie kids, never get married. FML
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    Mr Rogers

    Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

    Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML
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    Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

    Kevin - 04/06/2024 18:00 - United States

    Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML
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    Road trip

    Anonymous - 03/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, we drove six hours to get to our holiday cottage only to realise that my girlfriend had forgotten her suitcase. This put her in a bad mood, so she made ME drive six hours back to her flat to get it, then when I got there, I realised HER keys to HER FLAT were still in HER handbag six hours back at the cottage. FML
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    Triggered

    Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

    Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
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    Exploited

    Anonymous - 23/04/2024 17:00 - United States

    Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML
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    GHOSTS!

    WTF - 09/01/2023 00:00

    Today, I was woken up by my TV falling down. Good news: It still works. Bad news: I don't know how it happened, so I'm worried it could happen again at any time and potentially break for real. FML
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    Under pressure

    Jimagua1993 - 05/06/2024 16:00 - United States

    Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML
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    Maths

    Anonymous - 25/06/2022 06:00 - Singapore

    Today, I realized my brain has degraded so fucking much when I could only do one math question over the span of 24 hours. FML
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    It's downhill from here

    Lost Reggie - 14/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Greenbrier

    Today, my best friend since 8th grade died. This follows the deaths of my father in 2023, my divorce, and my mother dying last year. I already had an emotional Mother's Day, and now this. FML
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    Succession

    Anonymous - 02/11/2025 15:00

    Today, I was uninvited to a family reunion because I’m the result of my mom’s affair while she was married to her husband, who raised me as a dad for 22 years before we found out. According to my aunts, uncles, and cousins who I grew up with, it means I’m not really family anymore. FML
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    Skittish

    Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

    Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
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    The temptation of the fries

    Anonymous - 05/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

    Today, despite trying to lose weight for months and making progress, I went out to lunch with coworkers and ended up eating a huge burger and fries. When I got back to the office, I noticed that I'd spilled ketchup all over my shirt. Now I not only feel guilty about the food I ate but I also look like a slob. FML
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    2003 TV flashback

    Anonymous - 05/05/2023 18:00

    Today, my son brought home a girlfriend who actually talks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain. I simply couldn’t take her seriously, or even understand what she was talking about. This has to be a prank. In fact, it better be because it’s not funny. My son's an idiot. FML
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    Helping hands

    Anonymous - 02/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML
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    How bizarre…

    Jenn03 - 21/05/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend, best friend, and another friend went out in my boyfriend’s new car. I was connecting my phone to his Bluetooth so we could play music. I saw my best friend’s phone in the list. He bought the car two days ago. Their avoidant reactions and my boyfriend trying to change the subject said it all. FML
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    The long goodbye

    Anonymous - 22/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML
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    Uneasy

    Anonymous - 23/03/2025 19:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML
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    I'm an empath

    SweetFriends - 29/07/2022 04:00 - United States

    Today, I've started to dislike my friends. I'm in my 30s, play soccer, and was recently diagnosed with diabetes - mostly due to genetics - but the decades of poverty and eating restaurant mistakes didn't help. I treated my friend to a ball game and told her. She asked if I was being responsible, then ordered a second beer. FML
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    Hang in there

    DryEyes - 27/12/2023 05:00 - United States

    Today, my son has a broken arm and is crying because he wants to take the cast off. As soon as he stops crying, my stepson starts crying because he wants a cast too. My wife is also crying, because she feels guilty that our son broke his arm. Six weeks until the cast comes off. FML
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    First time for everything

    Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

    Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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    Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML
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    Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML
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    Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
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    Today, I found out that the reason my husband has been coming home late isn’t because of extra work. It’s because he joined a bowling league... and didn’t want me on the team. FML
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