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How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 161

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Sam - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 490

He's onto you

By No way, doggy - 25/01/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 193

Oh no…

By x.x - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 705

You deserved it 5 883

Good one, lady

By Cellismasher - 04/11/2009 22:37 - United States

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 813

You deserved it 18 493

New receipe just dropped

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 108

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 00:01

Today, I went in for I thought would be an interview for a promotion, but turns out there was no interview set up, and they'd already decided who would be the next manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 134

To each their own

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I messaged my two best friends for emotional support. I don't normally do this, as I feel like I'm bothering people, but I was having a breakdown. One never replied; the other said, "Everyone is having a hard time" then talked about her own problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 158

Stand up dude

By U…… - 24/08/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend said he was exhausted, and asked if I could watch our baby while he grabbed a nap. I told him to man the fuck up and deal with it. Later, he slipped out, and won't answer his phone. I have no idea where he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 943

Maxed out

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 22:00

Today, my daughter took her ex to court for child support. After the judge was done, she ended up having to pay support to him, and since she was the one who took him to court just for money, her ex now hates her and will make sure to collect every penny he’s owed, even though she only works part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 619

Always check for ****

By Anistoncole - 13/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was showing why we picked the colour in our posters and ads for my department. I used a video to explain; I hadn't watched the full video. I skipped to halfway through and there was a picture of a naked woman with starfish on her tits. Everyone kinda went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 319

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 458

By Charitable - 30/06/2014 05:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 609

You deserved it 8 859

By confusedphotographer - 19/04/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 879

You deserved it 64 228

By Sam - 01/11/2009 23:10 - Canada

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 784

You deserved it 58 961

Simp

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 10:00

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 673

Thanks for the heads up

By thanksbro - 20/09/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 3 046

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 024

You deserved it 23 342

Mute

By Gassy Gal - 21/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 320

Legend

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, I tripped really hard and twisted my ankle on a toy that was on the floor, dropping a bag of trash filled with coffee and energy drinks my husband has piled around his desk. Instead of helping me up or helping me clean, he berated me about it. Told me that it's not my problem and went to his LoL game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 175

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 012

You deserved it 7 338

**** those guys

By Conversion - 13/05/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I work in healthcare databases, mostly child abuse, so I'd been looking forward to a weekend obstacle course, organized by a friend of a friend. After getting the details, I realized the event will raise funds for pro-life and LGBT conversion therapy. My new plans involve drinking and moving out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 327

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 182

By wishbone - 14/04/2009 20:41 - Canada

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 718

You deserved it 5 664

Dank

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a weird smell in my apartment. I checked everywhere but couldn’t find the source. After a while, I discovered the smell was coming from the pile of laundry I'd left in the corner, laundry that I thought was clean. It was the gym clothes I'd thrown in there three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 630

Taking it too far

By wolf boy - 10/07/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 532

You deserved it 6 163

By P4ntless - 26/10/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 572

You deserved it 41 396

Feral baby

By sad cat owner - 26/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I had to make the difficult decision to get rid of my cat. He's terrible around unfamiliar people and always attacks them on sight, completely unprovoked. He even does this to my niece, who isn't even a year old. Still, he's such a sweetie despite his lack of people skills, so I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 276

Sixth sense

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 22:00

Today, I walked in the house as though I was coming home from work on a normal day, fully clothed and carrying my work bag, but somehow my dad still knew I hadn’t been to work, but was in fact doing the evening version of the walk of shame, after spending all day in bed with my booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 223

ESP like… telepathic?

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 00:02 - United States - Chicago

Today, I'm tired, on Benadryl, temporarily moved into my mom’s house because my roommate chose to get an ESP dog who sheds, even though I told them I'm anaphylactic crazy allergic. They won’t get rid of the dog and I can’t afford to break the lease. I'm also flunking all my classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 161

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The Top

Today, during the "What can your manager do to help with your career aspirations?" section of my annual review, my manager basically told me she wouldn't help me and I should quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 514

You deserved it 1 666

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 518

You deserved it 3 888

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 104

You deserved it 3 955

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 657

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 098

You deserved it 4 829

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 73