Today, I found out the coworker I was seeing gave me the clap. She resigned two weeks ago and isn’t answering her phone. I can’t blame my wife because she was a virgin when we got married, and has only been with me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I gave him an STD I didn’t know I had. Before sleeping together, he asked me to get tested. Feeling lazy, I got some fake test results from Google Images. He called me a few weeks later, saying he has the clap. I told him he must've got it from someone else. He was a virgin. FML
Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 30
I love how your first instinct is to try to blame your poor wife. That's even more disgusting than your cheating with your coworker. May your dick fall off.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
Perhaps you should be telling her that you're a scumbag instead of us.
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Comments (14)
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
Perhaps you should be telling her that you're a scumbag instead of us.
slhiggx 17
First off, you can’t blame your wife. At all. Be honest with her. She should get tested too, etc common sense. Maybe consider couples counseling. Reevaluate your marriage. Your wife has the right to know, and decide from there what to do.
RichardPencil 30
I love how your first instinct is to try to blame your poor wife. That's even more disgusting than your cheating with your coworker. May your dick fall off.
tiptoppc 19
Not only do you deserve it, you deserve the fallout. Thanks for making the rest of us look bad! I hope your wife divorces you and you lose your job at the same time. And I pray you didn’t drag some poor-bastard kids into this via fatherhood. Your wife deserves a life free from you. I hope you dick burns off from the raging stds.
spinningrecords 14
Kind of curious on the timelines of your relationships… trying to push the fault onto your wife seems like a real shit move. She should be saying FML for being with a jerk.
Anderling 32
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions.
AzraelAngelus 15
I hope your wife gets everything in the divorce
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
good. you deserve it. tell your wife before you give it to her, too.
J_Free_Woods 28
YDI. My questions for the OP are: 1. What possessed you to dip your quill in the inkwell? 2. Why is it your wife’s fault. 3. How many inkwells did you really dip your quill into? If she’s not the only one, you may want to look for a new job and if she’s the only one you’ll want to look for a new job. Companies tend to side with women these days.
poopface82 23
When you stick your nuts in the fire, there’s a good chance you get burned. In more ways than one, in this case.