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Advice wanted

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 09:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I’m about to lose the love of my life. I love this man with every fiber of my being, but his kids are absolute fucking monsters. They treat me like shit and he doesn’t intervene. I’m so heartbroken, but what else can I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 88

By arh - 28/08/2012 00:10 - Australia - Newport

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 721

You deserved it 8 838

Coinkydink

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 08:01 - Belgium - Roeselare

Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 217

Help yourself

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 22:00

Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 105

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 128

Guarded

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to spend Easter with my grandparents, but my mom's new husband is a paranoid, overprotective asshole who wouldn't let me because he "doesn't know them." What's even worse is that my mom decided to agree with him just to keep the fucking peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 64

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 651

You deserved it 28 899

Badass fighting talk

By Welp - 19/04/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 1 691

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 430

You deserved it 3 021

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 688

You deserved it 4 546

These must be yours

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 122

By Ed - 05/12/2010 13:53 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 680

You deserved it 11 092

By AllyCat - 07/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 096

You deserved it 5 527

Great start

By MattClifford - 15/11/2020 17:01 - Australia

Today, I passed my driver's test. As I was driving home, I was rear-ended. Rear-ended by the examiner that'd passed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 75

Dork

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 03:00

Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 277

By MissPerspirent - 28/09/2011 02:18 - Canada

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 3 589

It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 92

By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 695

You deserved it 3 576

Spooked

By Marina - 20/09/2024 06:00 - Australia

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 100

Nervous Nelly

By Odnel - 27/07/2013 04:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 222

You deserved it 3 841

The virus claims another victim

By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 16:58

Today, I ran out of woodworking masks. I can't get a new one because of COVID. The cotton ones don't stop any of the dangerous particles, and now I have a cough. Screw COVID-19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 195

Everything I do…

By Edy - 28/04/2023 22:00

Today, the girl of my dreams told me she only wants me for sex and not a relationship. Apparently, she thinks that because I left my ex to be with her, that I’ll do the same thing to her. It’s not like I cheated to be with her. I left my ex when I realized I caught feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 1 176

Oddly specific cold open

By lalalalala - 23/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 113

Exhaustion

By --- - 12/02/2022 14:00

Today, during a phone call, I broke down in tears because I was asked to spell my last name. It’s sixteen letters long and hyphenated, and I always end up having to spell it twice because they never get it right the first time. I’m tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 361

Congrats!

By Nathalieeeee - 24/09/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 5 545

Wage slave

By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 125

The most British FML

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 22:00

Today, a traffic plod with nothing better to do gave me a ticket for my back bumper being a few inches over the start of some double yellow lines. He took photos, with a ruler and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 301

Explain yourself!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 88

Business school of business school

By Anonymous - 29/11/2020 13:58

Today, I found out my husband hasn't paid the mortgage in 3 months. We have a joint account, but it has always been his job to pay the bills. We are in the process of selling our house, and when I asked him about it he said, "Why are you stressing? We're selling anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 143

Mopping mad

By samdog37 - 01/12/2020 14:06

Today, my brand-obsessed sister bought $200 shorts. She was cutting the tag off of them in the kitchen and left them on the counter. I went into the kitchen, poured me some coke, and spilled it all over the counter. I thought the shorts were a rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 378

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The Top

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 367

You deserved it 775

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 891

You deserved it 5 470

Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 938

You deserved it 3 791

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 4 081

Today, I found out that because we made a mistake and applied for the wrong visa first, my fiancé probably can't fly into America to attend his own wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 1 294

Today, I discovered just how picky my son is. In addition to understandably not eating vegetables, he also doesn’t eat chicken fingers, pizza, or ice cream, along with several other foods I assumed all kids love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 370