The Top

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Extreme pooping

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, while I was pooping on company time, a little constipated, I saw a spider full speed running towards me, as I’m mid grunt. This makes my asshole slam shut and set my feet flailing to stomp it before it got any closer. Now I have heart palpitations and I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 476

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 809

Troublemaker

By Straw man - 31/10/2022 06:00

Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 187

Nightmare fuel

By Traumatized - 12/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 94

Foundations

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 20:00

Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 101

Creeps, creeps everywhere!

By I hate people - 15/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of revealing my finger in a photo. The first comment was, "I bet that finger has never been in a vagina before." The image wasn't remotely NSFW. I'm now afraid of showing any body part in any photo I take ever again, assuming these disgusting creeps are always gonna be around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 150

Unfair dismissal

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, I got fired because I was “constantly sick”. Constantly in this case meaning: the one time the entire office had Covid, including myself, plus 4 single days in a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 164

Chill out, Mom

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my mom is in hysterics, all because I told her I don't want to get married or have kids, and I'm not interested in dating anyone. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 111

I think you should leave

By yctb - 21/09/2025 03:00

Today, after my parents divorced, my father promised to move out in August but has now delayed it until October out of laziness. He's barely spoken to us for months, and when he does, it's with aggressive and childish arrogance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 79

Sucks to suck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2009 04:35 - Australia

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she said, "Ha! Sucker!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 266

You deserved it 7 463

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 749

You deserved it 7 814

Level up

By danny - 25/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out who my ex-girlfriend left me for. He is more successful than I am, and comes from a supportive and unconditionally loving family. He is bigger, taller, and 4 years younger than me. To add insult, I’m only 25 but this rich kid is in a band and plays guitar better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 201

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 04:01

Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 105

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 011

You deserved it 18 463

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 15:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I came back home from a 3-month trip to see my boyfriend and his family. Leaving them was obviously very emotional, and to top it off as soon as I got home, I realized I'd left my antidepressants behind, and I now have the flu as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 11/01/2012 20:08 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 371

You deserved it 7 503

By Embarrassed daughter.. - 01/02/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 073

You deserved it 6 992

Deception

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my roommate has been cheating me out of hundreds of dollars when I finally obtained records of the past year's electric bills, which are in her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 217

Swindling

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 08:00

Today, I got dumped, but not before he swindled me out of my savings. This done by my sweetheart from 16 years ago, whom I reunited with when he called me 7 months ago. I had no reason not to trust him, his brother has been one of my BFFs for 20 years. Now I'm not only broke, but heartbroken, and have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 227

The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 196

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 113

Driving force

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 15:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 282

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 506

You deserved it 3 261

The chills

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, despite living healthy and being only 40, I have such pathologically cold feet that I can only ever be comfortable while either having them on a hot water bottle or taking a vigorous walk. Everything else feels about as cosy as standing in ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 85

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 872

You deserved it 3 428

By splooge - 28/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 481

You deserved it 4 110

Beware what you wish for

By germified - 08/09/2021 17:01

Today, my kids and I have been ecstatic about them being back in school. After a year on Zoom, they couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom because every day they bring home something new and interesting. This time, they brought home a cold so bad it’s knocked me flat on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 171

Selecta blues

By Not my day - 28/11/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 176

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 18/11/2013 18:53 - United Kingdom - Congleton

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 905

You deserved it 4 589

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The Top

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a routine check-up. The vet asked if my cat was stressed at all, so I confidently replied, "No, he's a pretty chill little dude." That's when my cat decided to hiss and spit his way to the top of the shelves on the other side of the examination room. He's not as chill as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 161

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 877

You deserved it 5 527

Today, my best friend of 5 years, who I got feelings for, and who I spent endless time bending over backwards and going above and beyond for, once again rejected me. He got into a car accident and I stayed with him all night, only for some girl he never even told me about to come and introduce herself as his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 884

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 454

You deserved it 1 953

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 569

You deserved it 13 837

Today, I asked my husband to borrow his phone, since mine had died. His response was, “Well, you have a charger, use it.” When I reminded him that we weren’t at home, he screamed at me in front of everyone at the store, “I’m not letting you go through my phone and that’s final!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 205