Work: Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or...

By Humbug - 27/12/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 3 685

Work

Empathy lives

Weirdo geek freaks out

Lockdown blues

By thoughtcrimeno1 - 06/07/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 18 767

By forever alone - 19/06/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 927

You deserved it 7 431

By driven_crazy - 12/12/2014 19:52 - United States - Newark

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 830

You deserved it 7 948

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 340

You deserved it 2 780

By Nissan_David - 18/01/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 387

You deserved it 2 796

By LinaLinaYeah - 09/12/2011 16:26 - Canada

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 848

You deserved it 28 415

By damnbananas - 24/01/2011 20:38 - United States

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 520

You deserved it 4 325

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 035

You deserved it 16 180

By Marleck - 22/02/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 665

You deserved it 4 653

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 110

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 344

You deserved it 1 829

By Anonymous - 18/09/2013 17:41 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 048

You deserved it 8 167

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 11:47 - United States - Taunton

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 277

You deserved it 2 038

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 320

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 843

You deserved it 4 162

By Ringless - 25/02/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 203

You deserved it 3 598

By Pho_Rheal - 25/09/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 790

You deserved it 3 541

By stoolgal - 23/09/2016 06:19 - United States - Yukon

Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 1 420

By bornfromhillbillies - 30/08/2015 03:02 - United States - Bourbonnais

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 679

You deserved it 1 500

By -_- - 30/08/2013 20:31 - United States - Lahaina

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 976

You deserved it 4 055

By curly_eyelashes - 24/02/2013 14:30 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 750

You deserved it 14 404

By BenFiggy - 21/04/2016 13:28 - United States - Brick

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 674

You deserved it 2 610

Bye Herbie

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 04:56 - United States - Marietta

Today, after hours of waiting and $300 spent, I find out my transmission is dying. My car is old, so the price of rebuilding it is more than it's worth. That's money well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 22/06/2011 05:35 - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 956

You deserved it 3 914

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 262

You deserved it 73 574

By hatemyjob - 25/02/2010 22:29 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 476

You deserved it 6 662

By yeasty - 06/07/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 998

You deserved it 4 512

By iamatthewroberts - 17/02/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 383

You deserved it 12 962

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 19:11 - Italy

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 060

You deserved it 6 543

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 157

You deserved it 13 726

By c.hip - 19/08/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 720

You deserved it 10 840

Alexa, play 'Communication Breakdown' by Led Zeppelin

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 17:02

Today, my man complained that I was "not easily approachable", sexually speaking. To clarify, his usual way of signalling his desire is to just lie there, quiet and not moving, and (probably) thinking exciting thoughts. I can't tell if he likes me touching him, unless he signals a lack of interest by falling asleep, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 06/02/2010 19:50 - United States

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 802

You deserved it 23 536

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 726

You deserved it 2 831

By Baskets-Tailleur - 07/07/2014 06:58 - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 430

You deserved it 4 875

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Enterprise

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 489

By anonymous - 23/06/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 926

You deserved it 4 099

By dBLIZZARD - 05/11/2015 03:32 - United States

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 692

You deserved it 2 852

By errints234234 - 13/05/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 668

You deserved it 47 340

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 866

You deserved it 59 978

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Top comments

NatzSwifey 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:10

call them and explain the situation to them and tell them you've been out of town, it might work...

XxDarkSatoshixX 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:46

@#4 do you read??? it says no internet or cell phone reception.

Kukironosuke 16

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

that sucks

cucuto89 0

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Monday 28 December 2009 17:25

bullshit, they would not need her to reply on christmas, nobody would be there to look at it anyway

PaperCaper 11

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Sunday 4 April 2010 6:55

it wasn't on Christmas, it was the holdiay season.

NatzSwifey 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:10

call them and explain the situation to them and tell them you've been out of town, it might work...

maryjeaninex3 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:16

yes, call them and explain what had happened.

Minuet 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:42

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

cherylface 13

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Sunday 27 December 2009 10:05

That was my first reaction, too. When she says last Friday, it doesn't make me think of this past week, it makes me think of the week before that. I'm starting to think she meant this past Friday though (though it seems weird to reply by Christmas). So I'm just rather confused in general. If she means the 18th, it's YDI for sure, but the 25th, FYL.

borabora1991 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 10:08

Well lets say the OP left for town on Tuesday, and the email saying to respond by Friday was sent Wednesday....a week goes by, and the OP gets back on the following Monday or Tuesday to find that they were supposed to respond to the email by LAST Friday... Wouldn't you agree that that would validate this post as a true fml? You don't know what day the OP left or what day the email was sent, so you can't really call fake on this one.

XxDarkSatoshixX 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:46

@#4 do you read??? it says no internet or cell phone reception.

TheLoneWolf87 4

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:53

Its a Christmas miracle!!!

borabora1991 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 10:03

Brian?....

jonny2x4 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 10:10

YDI for being in a dead zone on holiday.

msbetsy 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 11:22

Call them and tell them what happened. It may be too late to get the job at the beginning of the semester, but they could still hire you midway through if someone quits or is fired. Of course, as someone who was an RA once, I can tell you that being an RA is a pretty terrible job anyway. The pay is too low for what you have to deal with. My residents who worked in fast food part time made more money than me.

sondheimmcgeek 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 18:43

As someone who was also an RA, msbetsy's assessment is pretty dead-on. However, it saved me from having to pay for a year of housing, so I kind of had to take it.

letitbe56 0

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Monday 28 December 2009 0:02

RA could also mean research assistant.

Ireplywith_memes 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 12:55

A whole town with a dead zone?! Pedobear approves.

enough4 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 14:03

Fake. Last Friday was Christmas. Colleges are on winter break and staffs are off for the week. You know, because other people celebrate Christmas, too? There wouldn't be anyone on campus to receive your call or email for this purpose, let alone to have sent it to begin with.

kaleid0scopeEyes 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 14:59

She probably isn't talking about 2 days ago, but the Friday before that one (the 18th). There were still colleges open on the 18th. I knew people who's colleges were open on the 23rd. Cant you people be a little more open minded?

enough4 0

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Tuesday 29 December 2009 14:33

I apologize for not trusting a questionable submission on an anonymous website. I'll try to not be so skeptical and just believe everything I read on the internet from now on.