The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By robbed - 14/10/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 899

You deserved it 4 418

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 21:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 166

Experimental

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 396

You deserved it 66 499

Don't look back in anger

By Newny Cooper - 31/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Roselle

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 202

A complaint of Karens

By Fuckthispandemic - 19/02/2021 14:01 - United States - Annapolis

Today, while working as a manager in a busy restaurant, I was hit in the face by a grandmother with a balloon, calling me a motherfucker, while her granddaughter chucked a salad plate into the kitchen. Why? I told them they had to leave at 10, which is currently pandemic law in my state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 83

**** the 9 to 5

By misuw_ - 07/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Holland

Today, our sales administrator quit in the middle of the shift because he was tired of all the bullshit that was involved with running a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 171

Scroungers

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 00:02

Today, I was invited by my dad to eat out at a buffet. At the end he handed me the bill. I paid with hesitation, because he didn’t ask or talk to me about it, but I didn’t wanna make a scene. I come home to my husband asking for more money too because he "can’t manage money." I guess girls really do go for their dads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 328

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 687

You deserved it 8 449

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 122

You deserved it 9 661

By t2t2sync - 03/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 575

You deserved it 5 744

By Time for a haircut - 21/05/2013 19:05 - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 887

You deserved it 7 078

By Tal - 26/04/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 682

You deserved it 9 516

Baby love

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 10:00

Today, I'm working while my husband is the stay at home parent. The house is spotless, our baby girl is happy, and he's never been happier. When I stayed at home, I could never keep the house tidy, and she cried constantly. How does he do it? No matter how we do it, I'm always the one who's tired and miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 887

Dying inside

By Deedee - 13/01/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I confidently walked into a coffee shop, ordered a cappuccino, and went to sit down. On my way over to read my book at a table, I knocked over a stack of chairs by tripping on a rug. The worst part? I had to sit there, sipping my drink, and reading the same sentence over and over again, while everyone watched me slowly die inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 170

A new enemy

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 08:01 - United States - Great Mills

Today, my cat jumped into my lap and sat on my headphone cord. I tried to get it out from under her by pulling on it. Big mistake. My cat is now eyeing the cord and will attack it if I move it again. I have expensive headphones and the cord is not interchangeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 451

By suckatlifeeexo - 25/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 444

You deserved it 17 037

Are you experienced?

By Karenfast17 - 03/03/2021 07:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 355

When you gotta go…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 14:59 - Australia

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 214

You deserved it 3 243

Spotted

By papergirl - 24/04/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 294

You deserved it 19 639

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 16:00

Today, after barely sleeping all week, I tried some ASMR videos to help me fall asleep. Both my dogs and my husband are out cold, snoring so loud I can't even hear the ASMR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 185

One law for thee…

By Jules - 03/03/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 002

You deserved it 3 181

By NotAmericanIdol - 23/04/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 573

You deserved it 29 253

Drawing a blank

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 08:01

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 114

I loved that little guy!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 02:00

Today, I thought my coworker had confided to me that a close friend had died too soon, but it turns out she'd just ruined an expensive pan. We talked for 10 minutes and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 113

That's entertainment

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 10:00

Today, in the middle of an argument with my wife, our autistic son started calling out tennis scores, which turned out to be his way of keeping score of who was winning the argument. Apparently, by the end, it was 40-love approaching server's deuce point, which I think means I lost the argument badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 242

See you soon

By CoffeeBoy - 06/11/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to meet a potential client at Starbucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 213

You deserved it 6 494

Wasps can **** right off

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 18:00

Today, a wasp flew straight up my nose and stung inside my nose and my upper lip about 8 times. I would very much like to be put in a medically-induced coma right now, but the emergency room nurse thinks I'm joking. I’m very much not joking, I want to be unconscious ASAP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 125

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Fire Work Dogs Animals Social Media Kids Vacation Family Parents Ironic Miscellaneous Cute Weird Toys Fight Relationships Health Medication Gross Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Funerals My ex I need your advice Love Harassment Sex Intimacy Friends

The Top

Today, my father came downstairs, wearing my mother's dressing gown. It didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 309

You deserved it 1 202

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 999

You deserved it 3 993

Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 826

Today, I was scammed by con artists, using a business to send out fraudulent checks for a fake "stay at home" job. Now not only do I have to try job hunting again, I'm also $2,000 in the hole with my bank account. You scam artist losers need to get off your ass and get a real job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 1 044

Today, I snapped my banjo string while vigorously masturbating. I was so ashamed, I told the doctor I did it during sex, but I could tell they didn’t believe me. I want to curl up and die but that hurts my stitches, so I guess I’ll have to lie flat on my back and die instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 1 533

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 92