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Doghouse

By Krissi - 21/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 537

I'm never talking to strangers again

By Anonymous - 28/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I attempted to compliment a stranger’s sweater by saying, "Wow, that looks cozy!" However, I said it way louder than intended, and they thought I was mocking them. I’ve never seen someone put on a jacket so fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 161

By dontfencemein - 22/07/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 4 508

Assumptions part 27674

By dads can’t cook? - 17/03/2021 21:30

Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 236

Hogwatch

By QAnon ruined my mom - 22/08/2023 06:00

Today, and over the past few weeks, my mom has cried, ranted, and posted unhinged TikToks, more than when my sister was almost killed in the meadow behind our house by a drunken hunter, all this because her favorite 'politician' has "unfairly" been indicted several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 18:50 - Canada

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 862

You deserved it 3 458

Supportive

By Burden - 12/03/2021 02:01 - India

Today, once again, my mom ranted about how she sacrificed so much for me by moving to a better city. I said it was for my education and to stop making me feel like a burden. She scoffed, "Right, you never should've been born. My mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 179

By LilaTheGreat - 05/05/2013 23:51 - United States - Boyd

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 44 235

It's not what you think

By Shopper - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 608

You deserved it 7 873

By nackpattywhackgiveadogabone - 23/09/2010 11:01 - United States

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 093

You deserved it 50 558

No plan B

By Marie - 08/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, my phone randomly stopped working and I have three phone interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 69

By anonymous - 01/11/2009 13:37 - France

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 2 611

Single and ready to Pringle

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 00:02

Today, I went to a family gathering and was asked by multiple relatives why I was still single. Trying to lighten the mood, I joked that in fact I do have a secret admirer. My little cousin yelled out, "Is it your cat?" He was right, even though, come to think about it, I'm not sure my cat even likes me all that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 173

PTSD

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 12:00

Today, my mother and I almost got driven off the highway by an SUV because we couldn't speed more than we were already. She had a major car accident by a drunk driver in the past, and she was inconsolable after this. We weren't able to get their license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 141

Bad planning

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 12:00 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I realized that procrastinating studying for my finals until the last day would end up in me failing, irrespective of how much caffeine I consume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 720

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 894

Body positivity week

By FattieFatFat - 05/09/2023 14:00

Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 294

By msarosi - 28/04/2013 10:28 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 186

You deserved it 16 840

The nerve

By Ihatebackstabberz - 16/05/2022 00:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years left me for my best friend. She actually tried to “comfort” me saying that “Some relationships are just not meant to be,” and “Now you’re free to find your soulmate” and that “One day, it will all make sense.” Alexa, play “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 450

They aren't property my dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 14:00

Today, my brother's will left all his wealth to his second wife, while I get left his two kids and a small amount to help cover raising them, because his second wife isn’t mother material. Bitch, neither am I, I love my nieces but I’d go mad if I had to be their new parent. Leave me the money instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 287

By Mary - 10/07/2011 12:49 - United States

Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 388

You deserved it 6 829

Not now!

By my body hates me! - 17/06/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 169

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 106

Simping

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 07:59 - India - Bangalore

Today, my girlfriend moved to Germany for her Master's degree and perhaps a PhD. I'm still stuck in this third world mess which we call India. I simped for her and agreed that she can have non-serious relationships with other men. I'm so broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 1 249

Boxed in

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 145

Time for the dentist

By Ethan - 07/04/2021 21:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 217

Gotta get that clout

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was tricked into seeming like a sexist pig. A girl at the gym asked me to show her how to use a machine, so I did, then she started screaming at me to leave her alone. An hour later, I was all over the gym social media in a phone video heavily edited to make me look like a creepy gym bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 106

Pranksters

By dan - 09/05/2012 20:10 - United States - Laurel

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 207

You deserved it 2 187

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 7 412

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The Top

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 632

You deserved it 21 949

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 252

You deserved it 6 527

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 30 019

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 4 970

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 199

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 381