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Freak out

By Dough - 20/08/2025 00:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 17:24 - United States

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 6 234

Eventful day

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 22:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 143

Excuses, excuses

By TJ. - 17/10/2022 10:00

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soulmate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 135

Artwork

By willbo - 18/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 91

By lynn777 - 04/04/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 307

You deserved it 22 357

Morning surprise

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 04:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 197

Snitch

By Sam - 23/10/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend trusted me enough to tell me that she's trans. I have no problem with this, the problem is my sister overheard her. She ran and told our parents, who are also our landlords, so now either I dump the woman I love or we'll both be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 330

No kidding

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 414

The golden child

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 91

Flip your wig

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 12:00 - Philippines

Today, my father verbally abused me for visiting my sick maternal grandfather, saying I lack common sense and intellect. He was angry that my cousin, who was the driver for the day, had her time wasted, despite the fact that my cousin planned to be with me the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 507

You deserved it 2 280

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 035

You deserved it 2 663

Truth bomb

By cdaniel2 - 12/02/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 306

You deserved it 4 649

Bustin' makes me feel good

By Billie - 03/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 210

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, a stranger at a bird show yelled at me for owning an "unnatural and irresponsibly bred" hybrid lorikeet. He's a rescue who was horribly abused in his last home. Fuck me for giving a shit about animals even if they're not pure I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 117

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 225

You deserved it 3 073

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 135

Cooked

By Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 100

Never? NEVER?!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 08:00

Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for four years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 181

Tell us more

By kateannobrien - 11/08/2021 20:01

Today, my birthday was terrible yet again. This year, my boyfriend skipped celebrating with me at all. Last year, he guilt-tripped me about ‘having’ to spend time with me and got me two gift certificates that were unusable due to COVID. These weren’t even my worst birthdays to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 24/03/2011 07:29 - Australia

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 3 290

This is why I left home

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to stay at my parents' house for a week while my mom stays with my dying grandfather. Dad greeted me with a whole list of chores to do every day when I'm not at work, and won't even so much as let me use my laptop when I'm not busy. He does nothing but waste money on eBay all day and doesn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 128

Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 223

By dana - 16/12/2013 22:43 - United States - Montrose

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 348

You deserved it 11 913

Kittens are everything

By Squanto - 16/08/2021 16:01

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 198

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 170

Foreshadowing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband wouldn’t touch or even look at our newborn daughter until she’d had all the birth slime cleaned off her, then he held her for like 5 seconds before giving her back, saying he could still smell the slime and vomited all over a nurse. This does not bode well for nappy changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 244

It's not me, it's you

By LoserSingleDude - 09/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 11/12/2013 22:25 - Luxembourg

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 361

You deserved it 3 251

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The Top

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 088

You deserved it 5 637

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 534

You deserved it 1 873

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 570

You deserved it 3 399

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 066

You deserved it 3 158

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 327

You deserved it 29 429

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to weekly talks about anything that is bothering us, since we’ve been arguing a lot lately. So far, every talk has been her moaning at me about how I annoy her, yet when I try to have my say, she interrupts or yells at me for blaming her for our problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 191