if your boyfriend talks to you like that often that's toxicity time to leave

That's called gaslighting. Some people have that kind of humor with their friends and family and it's not gaslighting, but those friends and family also know it's humorous, and well, you don't seem to believe that so it's gaslighting.

A family should be on the same team. Calm and nice.

Everyone in the family is has the ability to do something. Work together towards a common goal, not against.

bf comment was rude but there alot of possibilities of whats going on. myself would rather not tag team clean an area, and i was taught to put things back when done, so to me everyone is lazy at cleaning doing garage stuff gets tedious when you clean every thing now and put tools back even though you are still using them