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Hangry time

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 18:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 996

You deserved it 9 724

Thoughts?

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I realized that I love my child's school resource officer and not the man that fathered my children. I don't know what to do about this. My oldest child can't stand his father and looks up to the school resource officer, while my youngest loves them both. I don't know what to do without hurting someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 660

Best impression

By Shells - 27/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 800

Thanks, I hate it!

By Tay - 17/02/2012 01:29 - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 644

You deserved it 2 728

By Nic - 23/02/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 43 033

Doomsday

By Alberto - 07/10/2022 10:30

Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 176

Welcome to Hell

By Anonymous - 08/10/2022 14:00

Today, I got my period two days early. I have really bad cramps and my lower back hurts pretty bad. I'm getting over having bronchitis, I wanted to relax, but instead my mother had the bright idea to walk around the mall for two hours. We sat in traffic for another hour before we made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 163

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 321

Stuck with you

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 04:01

Today, I sent my abusive girlfriend a text, explaining I was breaking up with her via text because I was afraid for my physical safety if I broke up with her in person. She video chatted me less than five seconds later from our doctor's office, where the doctor confirmed she is in fact pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 343

Enough already!

By SadWoman - 30/09/2022 13:30 - United States - Kula

Today, my counsellor said that my venting needs to stop with this session, and that I needed to have goals towards which she can help me go. But I'm so lonely and just wanted to talk to someone. So now, a person won't take money from me to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 634

This guy grudges

By PocketTrash - 20/03/2020 21:00

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 246

By Anon - 18/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Mesquite

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 816

You deserved it 2 875

Seasonal allergies

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 06:01

Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 23:05 - United States

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 474

You deserved it 17 662

By sproket - 11/04/2011 23:37

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 160

You deserved it 2 682

Chill out

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 13:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I found out one of my "friends" is “scared” to talk to me because I’m black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 135

Hellhole

By living_thedream - 14/01/2013 06:51 - United States - Bethpage

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 908

You deserved it 3 741

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 38 569

Young at heart

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 12:00

Today, I found out when meeting her that my uncle has a girlfriend who is half his age. She's worse than a toddler; she started begging and crying for chocolate in the middle of a car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 88

Panic!

By We almost had a collective panic attack over nothing! - 18/08/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I checked Life360 to see how close my dad was to home. His profile stopped moving for several minutes, then it greyed out and the app said he couldn't be found. My mom and I thought something terrible had happened. After one very stressful half hour, he appeared. His phone had gone into airplane mode… somehow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 411

By thatstinks - 07/04/2011 03:12 - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 522

You deserved it 2 970

By Lesley - 17/02/2009 01:11 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 006

You deserved it 6 084

Bumbling

By Jane - 19/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 253

By 11niko - 02/02/2012 04:57 - United States

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 092

You deserved it 7 026

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 144

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 3 302

By Baldy - 03/04/2011 09:16 - New Zealand

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 631

You deserved it 4 774

Stink bomb

By Jenni - 02/08/2021 11:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got into my car to remember that I left dead fish and waxworms in my car from fishing at the lake yesterday. We unloaded everything but those two stinky things. It was 90 degrees today too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 1 262

Adulting

By FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 205

By Username - 01/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 023

You deserved it 3 803

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The Top

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 230

You deserved it 4 770

Today, I listened to a recording of a woman saying, "I love you" for about 30 mins straight. That's apparently the only way I can feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 321

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 648

You deserved it 4 671

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 390

You deserved it 37 330

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 457

You deserved it 9 624

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 8 727