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It doesn't get better as you get older

By Anonymous - 19/12/2022 09:00

Today, I woke up with a stinky smell piercing my nose. Yesterday there was a party at my boss’s house, where I got super drunk and passed out. When I regained consciousness, I realized my panties were wet, my pants were wet, and, of course, the bed was wet. I’m 21 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 1 383

Foot in mouth syndrome

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had an interview for a pretty interesting job. Everything was going smoothly until I referred to their company by the wrong name, not once, but three times. They politely corrected me each time, but I could see the resentment in their eyes, especially because it was the name of their main competitor. I probably won't be getting the job, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 807

Enjoy your stay

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 09:00

Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 87

By unknown002 - 12/02/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 235

You deserved it 18 681

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 00:53 - United States - Cranston

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 3 278

Not cool, Mom

By Anonymous - 10/05/2024 21:00

Today, my mom still spends time with my ex because, as she puts it, we might be divorced now but there’s no reason they can’t still be friends. This is the woman who tricked me into raising another man’s baby for three months before I got suspicious and got a paternity test. Screw you mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 116

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry at a laundromat for the first time. I then folded everything on the table, until an old man tapped my shoulder and said, “Uh, those are my socks.” I'd neatly folded his entire load of laundry. He took it back without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 390

Kinda cruel

By TGIF - 22/11/2025 22:00

Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 382

Smart

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 15:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 109

By random - 23/10/2013 22:41 - United States - Amarillo

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 189

You deserved it 2 610

Nice try, Doris

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law called my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, to try and persuade him to go to a funeral, because there would be cute girls there his age there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 126

I'm parked here!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 17:00

Today, they've been building a house next door. I went to wash and wax my car, and I was back home for only 10 minutes before a Bobcat digger backed into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 68

Happy Holidays!

By Sonotsuave - 30/12/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m in Las Vegas on vacation with my boyfriend and his dad. After staying in his dad’s dirty, dusty, toilet-broken Arizona cabin, we’re now in a cheap, shady, smoke-filled Vegas motel. I’m picking the hotels next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 181

Let that sink in

By vegasman20002 - 18/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Garden City

Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 03:10 - Canada

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 241

You deserved it 3 929

These guys

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 147

Suspicious minds

By Anonymous - 22/05/2024 14:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I found out that my fiancé has been lying about where she lives to avoid me. I think she's also sleeping with who was supposed to be the best man at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 06/02/2015 08:26 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 3 181

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 09:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 981

You deserved it 9 598

Ungrateful, dude!

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 246

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 3 846

Lazybones

By ProjectDude - 20/10/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, a group project for work was due. I honestly forgot about it and edited some words to make it seem like I worked on it. Did you know that Google Docs spreadsheet can track not only the changes made, but who made the changes? My colleagues were pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 2 275

Manager of the week

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 21:00

Today, my boss yelled at me for ignoring emails on my day off. Our emails are only accessible from work desktops, so I’d have had to be at my desk to answer it, which I had to explain to him 3 times before he understood. This is what happens when CEO’s promote their nephews to middle management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 13/10/2013 16:20 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 837

You deserved it 4 910

Social pariah

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 12:00

Today, I talked to exactly 0.0 people on Christmas, 0.0 people on New Year's, and I just checked my phone: The last call I received from anyone other than work or my tenant was October 29th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 712

Work anxiety

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 08:00

Today, I got hit by a car walking to work. My first thought wasn't to call 911 or my husband, but to call work to let them know I wouldn't be able to make it in for my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 127

Stretched out

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 12:00 - Germany - Heidenau

Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 350

By Wheresthebeefz - 01/02/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 964

You deserved it 7 906

No silver linings

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 02:00 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I found out that I can no longer work at my dream job because of their financial status. And of course, just now that I was finally beginning to be happy with my life, something like this naturally had to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 110

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The Top

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 5 998

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 663

You deserved it 18 446

Today, I finally decided to go talk to my upstairs neighbour about the loud banging noises he makes every single morning around 8 a.m. It worked. Now he starts at 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 199

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 064

You deserved it 5 261

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 3 182

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 898

You deserved it 6 154