Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
Today, my crush told me that she has zero desire to pursue a romantic relationship with me, and has only ever seen me as a friend. That would've been fine if we hadn't been seeing each other for almost a year, and passionately made out a couple of nights ago. FML
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML
Today, I told a bunch of my friends that I have a crush on this one girl. They all said it's definitely one-sided and I have no chance. FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML
Today, my crush started uploading pictures and writing sweet messages about a girl on her status, so I assumed that she was into girls, and lost all hope. Turns out that the girl in question had passed away, and she was remembering her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
Asexual doesn't mean that she can't fall in love. You have every chance in the world. Also, it could also be that she is actually demisexual, which means that she has to feel a connection to someone before she can be attracted to them and she just hasn't found that connection yet. The fact that she shaved her pubes into a heart kinda makes me think that she is yearning for something. I could of course be wrong. But try, by all means. If you don't ask, the answer is always No.
Anderling 33
This may be hard for you to grasp, but people can wear sexy undies and shave because they themselves like the look and feel of it rather than because they’re anticipating that someone else is going to see it.
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Comments (7)
Charlie Given 28
Sounds more like the other girl has a crush on you and is just saying that, any asexual person wouldn't give a shit what they look like down there.
Anderling 33
This may be hard for you to grasp, but people can wear sexy undies and shave because they themselves like the look and feel of it rather than because they’re anticipating that someone else is going to see it.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Asexual doesn't mean that she can't fall in love. You have every chance in the world. Also, it could also be that she is actually demisexual, which means that she has to feel a connection to someone before she can be attracted to them and she just hasn't found that connection yet. The fact that she shaved her pubes into a heart kinda makes me think that she is yearning for something. I could of course be wrong. But try, by all means. If you don't ask, the answer is always No.
Amanda Marie Nehez 13
Exactly. I am like this, unfortunately, and the more I get to know someone, I either feel something (which is out of my control and not common) or I don't.
Niniva 8
Don't count her out. Even masturbating I almost never reach completion with someone existing in the room -- another human prevents my finish if they even breathe -- but that doesn't mean I'm sex adverse nor aromantic. And hubby has no complaints about my techniques.
Chazzster 32
My bet is that your crush has no romantic interest in you and passed along to you that she’s asexual to get you to leave her alone.
ODBeefalo 10
Honestly, even if your friend said the roommate was not into guys, ask... people tend to use broad stroke terms for things, but doesn't always mean 100% or they are still working it out. some people simply have a preference and go by that most of the time for ease. point is, always try because the worst thing she can do is shoot you down. but then at least, you know HER thoughts on it.
RichardPencil 32
But no one else does, either. Unless you lose her to another crafty asexual.
tiptoppc 21
I’m asexual and my wife still gets sex from me! I dearly love her, but I still fulfill my obligations to her. We are even trying for a kid, but in my relationship with my wife, sex does not play anywhere near the priority in my life as it may in others. And between sex or a lolipop, i’d take the lollipop over sex. In Asexual, sex is a minor undertone in importance in relationships, but is not required in our wellbeing. We still have sex (Asexual can be any gender and any orientation), but it’s not the biggest priority to develop bonds. Emotional attachment is just a much greater factor in bonding. At this point, **** her life, because i’m sure with you, she’d probably be guilt-tripped into sex to the point of being a contention in the relationship. Before spouting this, go learn more about it than bitching. At least then you’ll know what it’s like being in a relationship with an asexual. Going in blindly is painful to all parties involved.
Niniva 8
Oh, yeah, enthusiastic consent! That's an essential element for an asexual. Get her interested enough to at least make sex tolerable for her. I hate being pressured into sex, and I doubly hate that I get complaints about "making" them feel like a rapist when I cry afterward because their uninspired sex was physically excruciating and emotionally crushing. Doesn't take much of that to make someone resentful. TLDR: lots of foreplay and adequate lube to ensure her comfort during the act, lest she join the sex adverse.
bleuroze 4
If you're only interested in sex, you are correct.