Health, Alcohol, Annoying, Relatable and Noise: More reasons to stay at home

More reasons to stay at home

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my local pub has now closed so now the only bar within staggering distance of my house is an entertainment centre. So now, if I want to drink myself blotto, I can no longer do it in peace and quiet, I have to do it to the background noise of some cartoon monkey and 100 rotten kids screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 119

Health Alcohol Annoying Relatable Noise

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Same thing different taste

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 121

You deserved it 55 419

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 1 894

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 976

You deserved it 46 553

Killjoy was hear

By barsituation - 03/01/2022 11:01 - United States

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 432

Pavarotti next door

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 05:22 - France

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 246

You deserved it 43 644

That Monday morning feeling

By Carmen - 09/03/2020 15:00

Today, I couldn't sleep because a group of drunken guys decided to stay out all night singing Disney songs. They had loudspeakers too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 465

You deserved it 4 439

By constantine - 29/08/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 559

You deserved it 36 119

By nomwar - 17/06/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 116

You deserved it 14 874

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 September 2021 18:19

If the goal is to become blotto, the overwhelmingly obvious solution is to drink at home. It's cheaper and safer. If you're interested in the social aspect, then you have to find a pub.

OfficialMrD 3

Saturday 11 September 2021 18:42

Drinking to get blotto should be done at home A bar or pub is supposed to get a relaxing buzz

Comments

Plop 17

Saturday 11 September 2021 17:47

I don't want to sound mean, and am in no way judging you buuuut... You sound like you may have quite a bit of a drinking problem. Please go talk to someone about it.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 September 2021 18:19

If the goal is to become blotto, the overwhelmingly obvious solution is to drink at home. It's cheaper and safer. If you're interested in the social aspect, then you have to find a pub.