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Exploitation

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 18:00

Today, despite having made it clear that I'm neither interested, nor I am able to take over the jobs of the 3 members of staff who have recently left, my boss made a "Progress Plan" for me and will check on it weekly. I'm getting paid 1.5 times less than average in my role and he's not giving me a raise because the company is stingy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 183

We were on a break

By Depressed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 528

You deserved it 3 690

Who's the loser?

By thomasthedankengine - 02/06/2021 21:59 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was at a family friend's house for a gathering. I grabbed my food and started heading towards the patio. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the patio, as there was a glass door in my way that I didn't see. My sophomore year crush saw everything, along with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 306

Smoking kills

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 19:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my grandmother - who has been a heavy smoker for almost forty years, and does not believe in the dangers of smoking - was diagnosed with COPD. Also, I'm now at a greater risk of developing COPD because of her (and my parents, who also smoke). FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 100

Happily married

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 04:00 - Australia

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 217

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 926

You deserved it 10 303

Workers of the world…

By unemployed - 22/09/2009 17:08 - Canada

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 581

You deserved it 2 744

Retcon

By BigFatLiar - 17/08/2022 06:00

Today, I had an assignment to make a Powerpoint of our summer, using our photos. Wanting to impress my classmates, and never having the opportunity to travel, I made one about a fake trip to NYC with pics from Google. My professor informed me that one of “my” pics of the city had the WTC towers in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 739

By toriforever - 05/07/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 32

Drugs are bad

By KookieLove666 - 10/08/2022 06:00

Today, my pill-popping mom, committing disability fraud and stealing from me, called the cops on me, and dragged the landlord into it, is now getting both of us evicted. All this because she'd rather live homeless with her drug problem than to get the help she needs, which I can't provide anymore after 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 117

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 01:47 - United States - Gonzales

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 954

You deserved it 9 215

Movie night

By nah - 11/06/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 1 746

By scaredypants123 - 07/03/2014 15:41 - United States

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 469

You deserved it 9 184

Sounds cosy

By haaaye - 22/10/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, my Twitter got hacked, and I can't get it back. Everyone now thinks I live in a trailer and have multiple STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 269

Watch your step

By Gary - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 10 565

Gaming the system

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I can admit I was wrong for cheating but my psycho ass ex took her revenge too damn far. Instead of cheating back or going wild with her girlfriends or breaking up with me, she called the authorities on my parents and had them deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 460

By Anonymous - 03/03/2014 16:30

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 868

You deserved it 4 058

Introvert life

By CaBur - 19/02/2013 22:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 362

You deserved it 27 147

Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 18/09/2009 11:08 - Iraq

Today, I was at work, finishing a presentation for my boss. Five minutes after I presented it to him, his boss walked in and asked for the same presentation I had just given. My boss presented it. His boss then turned to me and asked me, "What use are you around here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 768

You deserved it 2 886

Earplugs, stat!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 06:00

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 148

By Alex - 13/05/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 096

You deserved it 20 421

By lilrudegirl - 22/06/2010 02:12 - France

Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 361

You deserved it 3 327

By OutOfLuck - 17/09/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 417

You deserved it 2 776

By Noname - 08/03/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 54 252

Precision strike

By Zodiacfall - 27/10/2019 02:00

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 247

By jooshuarr - 18/06/2010 23:09 - Spain

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 731

You deserved it 4 726

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 469

I could be happy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 00:01

Today, I got my first job offer in over a year, a mere few days after being accepted to study for my dream career. My crippling depression won't allow me to enjoy any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 160

Grinding

By takingthebus - 16/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 311

You deserved it 6 557

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The Top

Today, we wanted to buy a bigger house just up the street from our current house so all three of our kids could have their own rooms, but we were outbid… by my mother in law, so now we’re stuck in our too small house even longer, and the evil old bitch is now close enough to visit us every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 73

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 735

You deserved it 6 654

Random

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 085

You deserved it 2 994

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 615

You deserved it 5 548

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 204

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 126

You deserved it 2 444

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 597

You deserved it 24 412

Today, I called my mom to let her know that my father, her ex-husband, suffered a series of mini strokes. Her reply was essentially, "Oh that sucks. Are you still taking your grandmother to lunch sometime this week?" Dad lives halfway across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 180