By pissed - United States - Schaumburg Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML I agree, your life sucks 36023 You deserved it 2979 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share kerstileann tells us more : you know youll get modded and have a ban against you for saying that right? :)
By chris - United States Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34777 You deserved it 3853 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Auburn Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML I agree, your life sucks 32104 You deserved it 2120 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whatjusthappened - United States - Federal Way Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML I agree, your life sucks 44050 You deserved it 4902 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous FML Uncensored Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain down stairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML I agree, your life sucks 6386 You deserved it 838 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RollieCollieUSA - United States Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML I agree, your life sucks 30618 You deserved it 6600 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatteningmeup - United States Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML I agree, your life sucks 59296 You deserved it 3773 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nick - United States - Palm Desert Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 31406 You deserved it 12577 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lrgenesis - United States Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML I agree, your life sucks 30072 You deserved it 2799 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SocialAnxietySucks - United States - Houghton Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML I agree, your life sucks 39209 You deserved it 11873 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fastfoodslave - United States - Northampton Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML I agree, your life sucks 40700 You deserved it 6796 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By possibly fucked - Portugal - Lisbon Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML I agree, your life sucks 66690 You deserved it 9494 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Not safe for work Today, I went to move an intimate, very NSFW Word document to a secure folder on my phone. Instead, I accidentally sent it to a printer somewhere in my office building at work. I don't know which of my 40 coworkers or managers has it on their printer for their arrival tomorrow morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 828 You deserved it 2145 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 23:01 Running late Today, my in-laws missed a special event for my newborn child because they were running an hour late. They always run late and always think its funny. After 15 years, it's just not funny anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 1385 You deserved it 174 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML I agree, your life sucks 35370 You deserved it 3340 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Watch movies Today, I hired a babysitter to take care of my newborn. When I came home, she was having sex with her boyfriend in the crib while the baby sat and watched them. FML I agree, your life sucks 2532 You deserved it 294 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML I agree, your life sucks 22881 You deserved it 1956 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nothing Special - United States - Hixson Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 22628 You deserved it 1776 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peanuts - United States Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML I agree, your life sucks 12151 You deserved it 36033 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML I agree, your life sucks 26903 You deserved it 15201 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sosad Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML I agree, your life sucks 53300 You deserved it 3639 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bigvic780 Today, I fulfilled a lifelong dream by attending a Dallas Cowboys football game. Our sitter fell through at the last minute so I took my five-year-old son instead of my wife. We had to leave after the first quarter because he threw up everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 3435 You deserved it 757 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 37049 You deserved it 2902 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hrtbrkn - United States Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 51167 You deserved it 6172 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Portugal - Alhandra Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML I agree, your life sucks 25418 You deserved it 2389 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1789 You deserved it 107 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By socks - United States Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML I agree, your life sucks 48715 You deserved it 3330 240 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blahdyblahblah33 - United States Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML I agree, your life sucks 41396 You deserved it 2686 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dl - Canada - Calgary Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML I agree, your life sucks 19807 You deserved it 8874 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ineedanewjob - United States Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML I agree, your life sucks 54925 You deserved it 36132 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannibal - Australia Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 7821 You deserved it 37291 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to go to the dentist to get 11 cavities filled. I took a wrong turn and ended up being 10 minutes late. My dentist told I had to reschedule because of his "10 minute policy." I have to wait 14 days now to get my cavities filled. FML I agree, your life sucks 1575 You deserved it 1219 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML I agree, your life sucks 33704 You deserved it 3051 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alone in ND Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML I agree, your life sucks 2090 You deserved it 181 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML I agree, your life sucks 27861 You deserved it 3059 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Harry - United States - Milledgeville Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 47745 You deserved it 8263 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flyakite - United States Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML I agree, your life sucks 46014 You deserved it 6575 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mochiko - United States Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 16454 You deserved it 56163 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Argh - France - Saivres Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML I agree, your life sucks 51814 You deserved it 9251 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML I agree, your life sucks 35949 You deserved it 6513 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I stink Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 2254 You deserved it 207 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WCARlover | 34 #6208616 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:03 Maybe he gives her a good deal on drugs and that's why Send a private message 378 4 Reply
By Jasim | 17 #6208630 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:09 If she says stuff like that, don't listen to her. Be respectful, but you don't need to by anyone's favorite to succeed in life. Send a private message 224 8 Reply
By WCARlover | 34 #6208616 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:03 Maybe he gives her a good deal on drugs and that's why Send a private message 378 4 Reply
Reply gabechriswill | 19 #6208742 - Saturday 21 February 2015 16:32 Apparently OPs brother has that 2 for 20 deal. Send a private message 7 16 Reply
Reply CAC_Boomerang | 24 #6208746 - Saturday 21 February 2015 16:40 Nothing can resist that! No wonder mom's favouritism lies where it does... Send a private message 20 3 Reply
Reply devildog562 | 33 #6208759 - Saturday 21 February 2015 16:51 Not true. A four finger rate usually means that it's not too quality. Get better drugs op and be the favorite! that's the way to an addicts heart. Send a private message 26 3 Reply
Reply Chambers1985 | 13 #6208780 - Saturday 21 February 2015 17:34 3 for $25 is better Send a private message 6 10 Reply
By Fuaaad1994 | 31 #6208619 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:05 He obviously gives OPs mother a family discount. Send a private message 99 7 Reply
By Homer1975 | 14 #6208620 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:05 first of all don't sell drugs, be yourself Send a private message 40 8 Reply
Reply 1dvs_bstd | 41 #6208709 - Saturday 21 February 2015 15:41 because... drugs are bad mmkay?! Send a private message 82 6 Reply
Reply gintwinsmoore | 20 #6208812 - Saturday 21 February 2015 18:28 #32 deserves a high five for the south park reference...lmao Send a private message 26 17 Reply
Reply TrippyEyes | 16 #6210209 - Sunday 22 February 2015 23:07 What if being yourself involves selling drugs? Send a private message 18 2 Reply
By garf3265 | 12 #6208624 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:06 maybe she's hinting something? Send a private message 3 13 Reply
By lazrguideddonut | 3 #6208628 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:08 You dont need your mom's favoritism. Send a private message 56 3 Reply
By Jasim | 17 #6208630 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:09 If she says stuff like that, don't listen to her. Be respectful, but you don't need to by anyone's favorite to succeed in life. Send a private message 224 8 Reply
Reply garf3265 | 12 #6208634 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:10 very good point! Send a private message 13 4 Reply
Reply Nina825 | 21 #6208697 - Saturday 21 February 2015 15:21 Well said! Send a private message 13 4 Reply
Reply mfmylifesrsly | 29 #6208890 - Saturday 21 February 2015 19:35 I honestly wonder if OP has does something worse for his mom to favor the drug dealer. Send a private message 14 3 Reply
By rieebee | 23 #6208631 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:09 Become a pharmacist and sell drugs legally. Send a private message 110 3 Reply
Reply Miss_Chevious | 37 #6208940 - Saturday 21 February 2015 20:33 the irony Send a private message 12 3 Reply
Reply extinct_dodo | 18 #6208973 - Saturday 21 February 2015 21:20 "In your face, mom" Send a private message 20 2 Reply
By WitEluded | 13 #6208635 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:11 You must have really messed up in the past... Send a private message 42 4 Reply
By VoldooPed | 20 #6208636 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:11 Sell her drugs cheaper and that might just change. Send a private message 16 4 Reply
By happysmile987 | 24 #6208640 - Saturday 21 February 2015 14:17 Don't listen to her. You're doing the right thing. Send a private message 11 3 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 610 You deserved it 137 7 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1067 You deserved it 55 6 Comments