The Top

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By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 249

You deserved it 4 653

Ouch

By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Trust no one. Nothing.

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 169

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 580

Crackers

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 592

You deserved it 3 821

By drfrogpepper - 01/01/2011 23:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 3 616

By nonameLiz - 03/02/2010 01:16 - United States

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a "Free hugs" sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 835

You deserved it 11 614

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

By faul - 26/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 220

Grey's Anatomy has the same effect

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 23:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that my recent binge-watching of “Young Sheldon” has caused me to hear Jim Parsons’s voice narrating everything I read. Including this FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 747

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 20:00

Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 108

By snowball - 29/12/2010 23:32 - Switzerland

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165

You deserved it 5 783

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 005

What could go wrong?

By Rebecca - 03/10/2020 23:07

Today, I slipped into an ATM vestibule quickly without a mask. The place smelled like the antiseptic at a doctor's office, so I figured, "What could go wrong?" Not more than 6 hours later, I found out that I’m sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 940

By anonymous - 08/12/2014 23:23 - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 058

You deserved it 2 768

By ohmy. - 27/12/2010 17:52 - United States

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 506

You deserved it 7 170

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 927

You deserved it 51 060

Demented

By Anonymous - 19/09/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 190

You deserved it 1 872

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 276

You deserved it 9 712

Feed me

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 23:00

Today, I’m in danger of losing my job as a full time carer because my charge, an autistic 11 year-old, hasn’t eaten a thing in 3 days because he wants a meal that doesn’t actually exist, which he saw in one of his online cartoons. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 126

Hanging on in quiet desperation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 136

You deserved it 3 148

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 566

You deserved it 36 660

OK, bye then

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 23:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years sprung the news that he had gotten a new job across the country and would be moving immediately. With his wife and children. First I'm hearing about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 199

TMI

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 159

The disrespect!

By squeezable - 19/06/2009 17:48 - United States

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 445

You deserved it 6 822

Winter Fashion Struggles

By FML Videos - 07/11/2018 00:30

It's called fashion, look it up.

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 88

By fakelaugher - 20/12/2010 03:41 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 311

You deserved it 24 313

By Ann - 18/06/2009 19:40 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 572

You deserved it 5 484

Boom boom boom

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 132

Scammed

By FMLdude - 18/08/2013 23:23 - Australia - Bexley

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 309

You deserved it 4 987

By arachnidphobia - 03/01/2010 03:22 - United States

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 794

You deserved it 3 485

Who the **** are you?

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 02:02

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to send a message to the girl I've been crushing on for years. I'm now blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 227

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The Top

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 6 965

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 137

You deserved it 2 622

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 057

You deserved it 24 473

Today, it's my wife's birthday. She also sleepwalks, sleep eats and sleep drinks. This morning, her subconscious remembered it was her birthday and wanted to celebrate in style. I found my $200 bottle of Johnny Walker Blue was missing 3". She doesn't remember drinking it. I'm so glad she enjoyed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 281

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 462

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 149