Transportation: Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train...... - FML

By RatQuiRit - 13/10/2008 08:21

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 700

You deserved it 15 876

Walk the line

Secrecy

Let it all hang out

By cali - 24/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 853

You deserved it 33 263

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 291

You deserved it 379

Fucked around, found out

By anonymouss - 26/08/2021 16:01

Spicy

Today, I had to yell at both my adult children; my daughter for having an OnlyFans page and my son for finding the page, blackmailing her for money for two months, then telling me about it when she refused to keep paying. I'm not a proud parent right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 278

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 505

You deserved it 899

By stuckonrepeat - 04/08/2010 20:17 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 4 651

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 746

You deserved it 44 141

By ihatespiders - 05/08/2014 12:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 775

You deserved it 18 806

Sorry Pat

By Kronic - 02/07/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 290

You deserved it 48 543

By crunkdrunk - 31/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 57 169

All out in the open

By Anonymous - 03/06/2020 08:00

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 165

By NewlyDread - 06/02/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 7 388

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

By ShootMe - 07/09/2017 23:15

Today, a high maintenance client informed me that he wants 50+ pages of new content added to his website "now". He doesn't understand that I also have 30+ other clients to write for. I'm wondering if I can charge him for my new anxiety meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 233

You deserved it 296

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 755

You deserved it 2 602

No jokes allowed

By Just a joke - 02/11/2020 05:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 453

You deserved it 3 358

By Flyier - 30/09/2017 04:30

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 260

Sounds nice

By sugarbeet - 04/12/2011 01:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 104

You deserved it 3 923

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 804

You deserved it 2 696

By Gigi - 05/09/2012 04:29 - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 30 627

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 39 887

By jordyn173 - 08/04/2012 03:19 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 606

You deserved it 3 576

By poor_college_kid - 15/09/2016 12:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I found out that I owe my college a little over $10,000. Why? Because, due to a slight misspelling of my name, the scholarship that I have been going insane trying to meet the requirements for is not actually giving me any funding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 853

By Iamthatgirl - 27/08/2014 04:56 - United States - Ada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 321

You deserved it 5 811

By damn it rose - 31/05/2014 13:40 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 312

You deserved it 8 107

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 381

You deserved it 11 620

By nato - 27/11/2012 13:16 - United States

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 203

You deserved it 2 326

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 895

You deserved it 39 933

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 06:41 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 392

You deserved it 5 517

By OkieThePokie - 07/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 416

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 307

You deserved it 2 476

By very very lonely - 24/09/2016 04:18

Today, I bought a friendship bracelet. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that I don't actually have a friend to give the other half to, or that I'm actually wearing one of them so it looks like I have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 443

You deserved it 1 699

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 17:01 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 878

By unluckylassy - 28/11/2013 00:01 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 023

You deserved it 6 169

By Anonymous - 22/06/2011 05:35 - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 957

You deserved it 3 914

Man vs Boy

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 19:00

Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 889

You deserved it 282

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 7 352

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 3 342

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 20:23 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 827

You deserved it 3 442

By Noname - 15/03/2009 19:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 103

You deserved it 79 028

By Rebecca - 13/06/2012 23:50 - Australia - Dural

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 254

You deserved it 34 702

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Sunday 22 March 2009 18:38

That sucks. Wish there was more to the story, though.

k8rss 0

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Sunday 17 May 2009 2:28

......................so

Comments

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Sunday 22 March 2009 18:38

That sucks. Wish there was more to the story, though.

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Monday 29 June 2009 8:11

seven-thirty isnt even that early num nuts

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Tuesday 9 February 2010 6:33

I get up at six every morning I wish I got up at 7:30

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Saturday 20 February 2010 20:21

wow 7:30 PM? that's intense

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Wednesday 10 March 2010 1:22

she put 7:30 PM

J0gby 0

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Wednesday 24 March 2010 1:25

it says PM not AM

littlemisshottie_fml 0

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Thursday 29 April 2010 14:17

30- PM Dumbass!

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Wednesday 12 May 2010 5:48

haha this is fail fml :p yeah because 7:30 pm is an insanely early time to wake up

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Monday 17 May 2010 22:09

poor you. it's 7:40 pm. who cares?

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Friday 21 May 2010 8:13

trains get cancelled all the time. just wait 30 mins for the next one? :L

SadinSherman 16

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Friday 22 July 2011 3:35

That is pretty much all there is to the story

linkinpark98 23

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Friday 27 January 2012 19:52

He could have a lot to hide.....

Lehk 9

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Monday 11 January 2016 22:16

that's still your fault, you were going too fast for conditions.

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Monday 30 March 2009 1:32

Don't you just hate days like that?

TheiMightyKhaL 2

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Saturday 17 December 2011 19:04

I arrived 7:30 flat.

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Monday 6 April 2009 4:04

Uh...that sucks? Unless you needed that train to go to something important, it doesn't sound like your life is fucked at all.

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Monday 13 April 2009 10:58

you can check the schedule before you go to the train station to see, otherwise it seems to be a small inconvenience unless you had to be somewhere special on a deadline which you would miss or something like that

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Thursday 16 April 2009 8:42

I was once stuck in Staples MN for 6 hours while the train that derailed in front of the one I was on got cleared from the tracks.

ZH13 0

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Tuesday 21 April 2009 1:37

and i give a shit because...? so your train was canceled. big deal.

applesmoothiee 2

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Sunday 4 April 2010 21:21

agreed. OP is a pussy

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Wednesday 22 April 2009 4:39

these early FML sucks

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Monday 27 April 2009 7:04

This happens all the time especially with air lines. You need to learn to be patient.

joeinthedark 18

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Thursday 8 March 2012 18:47

Just because it happens doesn't make it OK. Rape happens, but you don't just have to deal with it.

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Monday 5 September 2016 9:42

Don't even try to compare those just don't

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Friday 15 May 2009 12:42

I hate when that happens. That sucks but unless you were in a hurry it's not too awful, just annoying really.

k8rss 0

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Sunday 17 May 2009 2:28

......................so

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Friday 24 June 2016 10:44

LOL, Right? This is not FML-worthy.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 9

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 16

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 960

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 190