Accident, Farts and Injury: 10 out 10 for execution

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 611

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Same thing different taste

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 777

You deserved it 10 922

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 789

You deserved it 21 631

Gush gashed

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 130

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 653

You deserved it 46 039

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 658

You deserved it 1 033

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 46 071

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 340

You deserved it 14 198

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 131

You deserved it 73 429

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 782

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 120

You deserved it 5 968

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 August 2020 5:07

You're not the master of your gas? You gotta make your farts your bitch! Without control, how can you crop-dust or Dutch oven?

MsGamerLady 8

Sunday 30 August 2020 5:57

I've done this. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 August 2020 5:07

You're not the master of your gas? You gotta make your farts your bitch! Without control, how can you crop-dust or Dutch oven?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 30 August 2020 5:27

How were you not expecting to fart?

MsGamerLady 8

Sunday 30 August 2020 5:57

I've done this. 🤷🏻‍♀️

power_in_the_now 19

Sunday 6 September 2020 10:44

Think it’s about time to maybe get into better shape if squats are making you shit... squats should be second nature not take so much effort that you fart then poop your pants, goodness lee!!