The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 072

You deserved it 5 565

By biblio - 18/01/2009 02:55 - United States

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 235

You deserved it 2 558

By bleu_noir - 14/02/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 638

You deserved it 4 481

By a - 12/02/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 727

You deserved it 4 241

Delayed

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 22:59 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, the psychiatrist who I've been relying on to evaluate my condition to give me some real help, who I've been waiting on my appointment with for three months, suddenly rescheduled me until February next year. Why? Because she's "not working that day". I can't afford to see anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 120

By woman - 17/11/2012 08:45 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 745

You deserved it 7 775

By anonymous - 10/02/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 082

You deserved it 2 761

Interesting hypothesis

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 02:02

Today, I found out that my dad has drunkenly told my sister more than once that he doesn’t love either of us, and even then he prefers her over me. All these years I thought I was crazy for thinking I had any kind of daddy issues, but I guess that must be why I’m a phenomenal fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 198

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 27/12/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent $900 for a 2-hour private room session at a strip club, simply to sit, talk, and cuddle (nothing sexual). I'm "happily" married, but my love language is physical touch. I love soft and gentle affection and my wife hates it. I'm already planning to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 814

By bender - 10/02/2010 05:03 - Canada

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 293

You deserved it 7 745

By bbns - 14/01/2009 11:57 - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 374

You deserved it 2 806

Bad date #3764

By Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 159

Pipe down Mariah

By Confidenceruined - 28/12/2022 18:00

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 2 389

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 16:50 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 399

You deserved it 2 553

By PrestonW - 09/02/2011 15:53

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 401

You deserved it 7 804

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 17:02

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 175

The struggle is real

By new mom - 12/01/2023 22:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was arrested and had to spend the night in jail because I was caught stealing baby formula from Walmart. I’ve been struggling to find work ever since I gave birth a few months ago, and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since. Even my boyfriend has been struggling to find better work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 413

Thanks for the reminder

By have no mom - 16/05/2024 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 3 144

By soccerscout7 - 08/02/2011 12:48

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 819

You deserved it 3 173

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 15:18 - France

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 407

You deserved it 7 352

All that for nothing

By Depressed - 14/07/2020 20:01

Today, due to some highly corrupted data that I had nothing to do with and no control over, around 5 years of pixel art I'd made, and spent most of my free time working on, has been permanently deleted, and there is no way to recover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 362

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 3 673

Advent calendar time!

By firemansam - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 572

You deserved it 29 781

By bob - 07/02/2011 06:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that FedEx delivered my $700 package to the wrong person. The person who signed for it didn't even spell my name right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 444

You deserved it 2 622

By Misty3242 - 06/02/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 644

You deserved it 4 147

Pudding?

By Cake - 12/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 159

By Owen - 07/11/2012 18:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 995

You deserved it 4 786

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 511

You deserved it 56 562

Unprofessional

By WhoDunIt - 14/01/2023 10:00

Today, I had a job interview for the perfect job. My phone rang in my pocket. I’d forgotten to silence it. The worst part? The ringtone was a guy saying “Pussy!” on a continuous loop. The interviewer chewed me out for being “unprofessional” and kicked me out. I have no idea who set that ringtone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 1 216

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Parenting Kids Miscellaneous Suspicious Weird Awkward Health Phobias Embarrassing Cars Transportation Geek Neighbours Dreams Family Animals Gross Landlords NSFW Sex Intimacy Anxiety Stressed out Cooking Work Relatable Clothes Friends Birthday Money

The Top

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 542

You deserved it 6 186

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 565

You deserved it 5 508

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 115

You deserved it 82 642

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 2 559

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 012

You deserved it 41 467

Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 339

You deserved it 6 446