By Agathus - 10/11/2011 14:35 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 397
You deserved it 3 308

Same thing different taste

Top comments

No offense but ur moms retarded lol that sucks goodluck with that

Tell your mom you'll double the "energy flow" that he's created for half the price. Then go buy a flat screen to go with your lamp and old mattress.


No offense but ur moms retarded lol that sucks goodluck with that

I love how people use "No offence" like it automatically makes their comment unoffensive. You just called the OP's mother a retard, how could they possibly be offended? I agree with you, don't get me wrong - but I still think it's funny how that term is used like a get out of jail free card for insults.

ByronJess 17

No offense, 23, but YOU'RE retarded.

No offense, but the no offense comments are getting old. No, but actually offense on everyone.

flockz 19

i find all your statements very offensive.

11- "No offense" is the best defence. No? Okay, I'll get back in my box.

Well, most likely you're just trollin' 11, but what I think people mean is that when you say "no offense", you mean that you're just stating something, and not saying with the intention to hurt anyone. Example : Your mom sells sex for money. I say "Dude, no offense, but your mom is a *****" Now Imagine if I just said "Hey, your mom is a *****". See?

Offense intended, you're all ******* retarded. Fighting over FML, lolol.

ahskeetskeet 0

No offense is just saying "I'm about to insult you but don't get mad"

rudysayshi 4

as said by 11 don't get me wrong but your retarded

caraisbeast 0

lol " retarded " is against school rules now(x we can get a ticket, and guidance for it aha. sorry this is all random and shit(x

Now, this conversation would be much better if you didn't say retarded every comment. Seriously, what happened to politically correct? Not a socially acceptable comment.

81, do you get in trouble if you say "that's gay" too?

What the **** are you talking about? Seriously, his mom is a piece of shit.

Tell your mom you'll double the "energy flow" that he's created for half the price. Then go buy a flat screen to go with your lamp and old mattress.

samanthaplank 0

Tell the Feng-Shui master to shove the energy flow up his butt.

perdix 29

If he could do that, he'd never have to leave his house ;)

Actually, he's not a Feng-Shui master at all. His mom answered an ad for a company that specialises in getting teenager bludgers to move out of home.

Go to wallmart and get some vaseline, that should entertain you for the night.

I do not think they have Walmarts in the UAE...

There are Wal-Marts in Narnia. They're unavoidable.

OP meant to put The United States for their location. Do you really think somebody in the UAE flew in a dude for 5000 American dollars and speaks fluent English?

Holy shit, 98, I really, really hope you're trolling. If not, you are an extremely ignorant person. Do you honestly believe that absolutely nobody in the UAE has enough money to do that, or can speak fluent English? I suppose you also believe that there are no poor people in the USA and that all countries other than the US are full of savages?

v1kt4r 13

*facepalm* #98 I'm sorry do you even know where UAE is??? UAE for one stands for United Arab Emirates, you know Dubai... $5000 is not as much as you think it is, to a lot of people in UAE

Wat ?! $5000 ?! I bet you're filthy rich isn't it ? LOLOL

pfx2_fml 15

$5000 doesn't make a person filthy rich..

If they were filthy rich, the waste of $5,000 wouldn't be a problem and thus wouldn't be on FML...

crackz12 10

I think the fml was more about op getting his shit taken away then the money

Lol well since he's from UAE im gunna say he's not poor by any means

zowieandzander77 1

Crazyforcheese I realize English may not be your first language but come on... Bookmark it.

perdix 29

Great! Now that we are paying about $100 a barrel for oil, it's good to know that the money is being spent so well.

92- If you are actually happy to be on welfare, please get off your ass and get a job or contribute to society in some way or another Although I assume you're not, judging by the fact you have a computer and by your profile picture.

94... So much to learn... A lot of people on welfare have computers and cell phones and actually do more than just sit at home. Im pretty sure 92 was being sarcastic.

megapeyt 17

Hey that guy was cheap compared to MY feng shui master!

Graawr 7

Wait until tomorrow where he kicks you out of the house too. Talk to your mom about this. Asap.

Feng-Shui Master in scamming. Your mother is seriously mentally challenged :')

pfx2_fml 15

Tell him a flat screen and a Xbox in your room will make the energy flow better, before you take a bat to his face