The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

What do you take me for?

By emopancake - 28/08/2022 14:00

Today, I came out to my mormon mother as a pan enby, and told her I wanted to change my name. She asked how I came to this conclusion, so I told her how I’ve been secretly doing research on the topic. She says she supports me, but claims I broke her trust by lying for so long to avoid possible homophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 556

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 492

Christmas shopping

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 20:00

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 232

Spice it up

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 18:00

Today, a few days after I let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life and we used melted chocolate, I've now got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life, so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 2 496

A wild TERF appears

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 01:00

Today, someone started to scream at me that "I needed Jesus" and that "I would never be a real woman." When they realized I'm a guy with long hair, they got physically angry at me for "lying to them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 167

Trapped

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 08:30

Today, I'm realizing the woman I've been in love with for 8 years has become completely disinterested in me. I can't even connect on a basic, "How was your day?" level without her her zoning out or getting lost in her phone, only to apologize when I say something and then not even ask what I had to say. We have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 186

Shut up and take it

By Eric - 14/03/2020 06:05

Today my college professor told me that I ask him too many questions. Apparently, my college tuition fee doesn't include learning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 261

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 175

Overreacting mom striked again

By Im homeless - 06/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 330

Weird request

By EpicOracle - 14/10/2022 18:00

Today, after being apart for three months, my fiancée said the only way she'll take me back is if I send her some of the pictures we took on our first date. I deleted everything when I thought we'd never work out again, so it probably might not work out again, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 467

Royal flush

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 02:01 - Australia - Drummoyne

Today, I went for my first eye test ever. Turns out I have astigmatism and need glasses. This is already on top of me already having a hearing aid, having hypertension of my joints, autism, and endometriosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 103

Never cross the streams

By FiredAF - 20/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was emailing my department about a huge meeting we’re going to have. I was also emailing back and forth with another colleague about office gossip. I absentmindedly replied to the wrong email. I hit reply all to the meeting e-mail, saying that the new supervisor of X department was "so fucking retarded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 254

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 317

Heart of Glass

By blahblahblah - 15/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 227

By Umwhat - 19/06/2019 02:01

Today, my boss wanted to talk to me. Nervous, I went to her office. Turns out that my coworkers talk about me behind my back, and my boss is worried about me. Apparently, I lie about my bad knees, and me wearing black leggings is horrible. Most of them wear sweatpants on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 168

Social parasites

By Dank memes - 16/08/2021 22:01 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I can’t even find a place to rent. Every place has dozens of applications, with several offering well over asking price. I just graduated from college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 119

BO issues

By morgan - 11/11/2022 06:00

Today, my girlfriend showered ten times, used an entire tube of deodorant, and continued to stink. It’s been like this for the past week, despite it being cold outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 131

Catch 22

By Claire.L - 10/05/2020 20:00

Today, I gave my boss a two-month notice. He threatened me by saying he wouldn't provide a reference if I quit in July instead of August. I need the reference to pursue my dream to work in the USA as a nanny. I have no other choice, I either work under their pressure or start all over. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 160

It's raining cats and dogs

By Help me - 15/11/2022 06:00

Today, I'm gonna have to make the very difficult decision to ask my roommate to get rid of his dogs. They're not only the most disobedient little shits I've ever known, but they're also terrifying my cats. My oldest cat, who has always been pretty chill, quiet, and independent, is now vocal, clingy and nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 302

Smile like you mean it

By sad - 24/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was feeling sad and depressed at work, when a customer said, “Smile. It’s nice and sunny outside.” Sunny weather makes me depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 674

RIP

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 452

Chip on your shoulder

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 159

You ass!

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 14:00

Today, my jerk of an ex messaged to apologize for dumping me two weeks ago. I took the high road and was overtly polite and friendly, hoping to end things civil. Our conversation ended when he casually mentioned he is moving in with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 238

By Kenton - 15/06/2019 00:14

Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 175

Spreading it around

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 14:00

Today, I overheard my co-worker talking about how she's going to Panama City, Florida this weekend and is going to "get lit." It's the middle of the pandemic, and she's going to go party on a beach. She'll be back at work Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 289

Not a fan

By Cheri - 13/09/2021 13:59

Today, it’s my mom’s 65th birthday celebration. I have to share a room at the resort, table and car ride with my sister, who my ex-husband left me for and got pregnant. She tries to talk to me as if nothing ever happened, and my parents bitch me out for being upset at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 119

Think before you drink

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 00:00

Today, after I had drunk sex with my lesbian best friend a few months ago, she’s now pregnant and isn’t my friend anymore, because I apparently ruined her life, as her girlfriend dumped her, she’s already getting fat, and it’s too late to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 1 831

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 215

By WallabyMom - 26/08/2018 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I was woken up early because the baby wallaby I am hand-rearing wanted food. She achieved this by peeing all over my pillow, and subsequently in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 185

You deserved it 492

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 14:01

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, as she has about several coworkers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 391

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 4 746

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 983

You deserved it 86 148

Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 770

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 497

You deserved it 1 073

Today, a week after my fiancé and I got engaged, his mother is already complaining that she isn't involved enough in the wedding arrangements. We haven't even set a date yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 343

You deserved it 2 604

Today, I found out that my husband likes to stand in front of the bathroom door when my sister (who we took in since my parents died) goes in, and he listens to her urinate. He also has voice memos on his phone of her urinating noises. He claims he’s not doing anything wrong because he’s “not touching her or anything.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 116