Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Your secret is safe on FML
Today, it was my wedding, and I live in a country that doesn't take premarital sex lightly. My wife chose the last girl I slept with to be her main bridesmaid. She doesn't know. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Denied
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Not now!
Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML
Top comments
leadman1989 16
Part the red sea, it's not the end of the world buddy!
saIty 17
Just wait it out, so when you guys do finally have that moment, you guys will go more hard. Also, it'll feel a lot better.
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Comments (352)
saIty 17
Just wait it out, so when you guys do finally have that moment, you guys will go more hard. Also, it'll feel a lot better.
gojira666 7
Time to get your red wings
max_wilder 9
Looks like bj time
changesinme 0
dick: COVER ME, IM GOING IN
danielleeycakes 3
Or they could just jump in the shower..
Enslaved 38
Earning your "red wings" is when you go down on a girl that's on her period, not having intercourse with her. If that's you thing, more power to you but not too many guys have a thirst for blood.
DjeePee 25
37: right, like it's fun to have your (and for girls often painful) first time in a shower. If they already had have sex, it would have been a great idea, but now, when they are both inexperienced virgins? Nope.
DynamicDave 11
Ah, my fiancée and I are waiting too. I will be SO pissed if that happens to us!
SirMoose 0
OP: And?
gunmania0 12
Nothing wrong with a bit of bloody loving.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
Since OP and his wife were abstinent till their wedding day im sure they're religious. Just so OP knows, you're NOT allowed to have sex with a women who's on her period. And even after she's done, you have to wait 7 days after to have any sexual relations. It DOES say this in the bible, I just need to find the verse.
tehzilla 12
Just because someone is religious, doesn't mean they're following the bible word for word.. :/
jizzwold 21
^ I understand that most people that are religious think this but to me that sounds stupid. Why should you be able to pick which rules apply to you?
RedPillSucks 33
Somewhere in Leviticus, if you're talking about the Christian bible. However, Jews and Muslims probably believe in the same thing, since they all share the same old testament. Being abstinent doesn't have to mean religious. It could simply be a commitment thing. OP: You've waited all this time, what's another 7 or so days???
icefshng8 9
Because religion is only an idea. People are allowed to use parts of other peoples ideas
pitchblease 2
Leviticus 20:18 Is the verse. Only reason I know is because Stephen Colbert mentioned it once.
xcheshirecat 11
why should she be punished even more ?
inarsla 8
as with #101... if you're religious, you claim that your holy book/writings are the rules/guidelines given to you by your deity to be followed exactly as it planned you to. Not following the bible literally is pretty well saying "I put faith into your existence, but fck you and your rules"
Ashtondunbar 0
92 it does say that in Leviticus however just a chapter or so over it talks about sacrifices and to never shave your beard so unless they are hasidic Jews I'm assuming they aren't following the old testament word for word
personThingy 13
151: The Bible also says that rape victims should marry their rapists, gay people deserve to die, and the world was populated by 4 monogamous couples and 2 of every animal. The Bible was not written by God, and some of the things in there may have been made up. Christians believe in the teachings of Jesus, the son of God. If Jesus says to love everyone, and the Old Testament says to kill people who have sex with women on their periods, go with what the son of God says.
MagicGiraffe 12
**** blocked by mother nature!
NuTrees 9
Is I'm on my period code for I have a penis?
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
I don't see the problem
the_hero_of_time 0
she trolled him
leadman1989 16
Part the red sea, it's not the end of the world buddy!
Glockinator 2
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ImaginaryFoe 1
I agree. I read this wrong at first. I thought she'd missed her period while you two were abstaining. This doesn't seem so bad now.
liquidSELECT 0
I think he might have a serious case of blue balls
lolman222 0
Nothing wrong with having sex while she is on her period, unless she is not okay with it. Go for it man.
je_suis_fml 11
Some men like having sex during cycles... it's wetter. As the saying goes, "if you can walk through mud, then you can **** through blood."
RacistPancake 6
Hopefully those guards have good armor.
BRONCOMAN79 0
Dont matter have fun little buddy!!!!!!
FailBear920 19
In the butt!
superficialheart 11
Aw man, that's wrong on so many levels.
BlacOpsMaximus 5
I think he should stick it in her butt ! hahaa x)
superficialheart 11
What why? I hope he puts it in your bottom.
homieskillet 0
I agree^^ it's disgusting..
DjeePee 25
No, anal sex not disgusting. It's just something you absolutely don't do on your first time.
superficialheart 11
It kinda is a little bit gross, I poo from there. :|
brettlovesgirls 4
I can imagine you put your privates in her poopiehole and his peepee comes out all poopie..... eeeeeewwwww!
CryMoreFMLs 15
71 - Why did you steal a picture from an FML legend? Be original you douchenugget.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
So instead of option 1 he has option 2?
uniongirl02 0
Sick.
koolkat27 13
I agree^
JinxosGirl87 0
Anal sex feels better than vaginal IMO
loveanthony645 5
71 sounds like a 3 year old.
monkeywrench1 10
Damn! I wish u would be my girl!!!
vickycat 5
Sex on your period is fine, if you both are ok with it. If you are not then ...blue balls for you! Anal is also fine, if you are both into it and ready for it, but not if either or both of you are virgins. It takes a bit of skill, experience, confidence, patience, understanding and time. I don't quite get the logic though...blood is too gross but the poop-chute is ok? Last thing, a lady can somewhat control or manipulate when her period actually arrives if she is on the pill. I'm not gonna tell you how I did it for my wedding cos I don't want to be responsible for any 16 year olds out there reading my comment and try to avoid their period on prom night, and accidentally end up knocked up. Artificially moving your period a few days here or there stuffs up your cycle which could possibly interfere with its effectiveness. I would say, you would only wanna do it if the pill is not your only method of birth control, or if you are at a point where pregnancy is almost gonna be in the plan anyway (such as a newly married couple, perhaps). ***Engaged ladies who didn't consult a calender before choosing a wedding date may like to look into it. Anyway, I would say...just wrap it up and do it anyway. You'll probably end up doing it a thousand times during her periods over the coming years, and you'll feel a bit silly having fooked up your wedding night for such a little thing.
jacobs_double 0
44- jakes on you...girls dont poo?
danishbagel 3
Just give her some time, bro.
superficialheart 11
Yeah, getting your period is bad enough, without having to feel bad about not satisfying your man..
Tyger44 1
You are not superficial at all.you should change your name to caringheart.
Daralea 21
Not only that, but getting your period on your WEDDING day! Uncomfortable cramping, hormones raging, stressful planning, and wearing a white a dress. No, it sounds like she has enough on her plate without having to deal with "******* up YOUR life"
hawaiianfire 0
Yeah it's better to wait, she's probably not even on her period anyway. She's most likely just anxious about having sex with you for the first time.
sandyandellie 5
then get a hooker... jokes babes :P
TheOptimist 0
28 is on her period. *snicker*
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Some people do it like that. Its like hotdogs with ketchup lol
jonathanje2 0
man you gave me a disturbin image -.-
ibitehard 9
Today, I got a disturbing mental image that relates having sex with a girl on her period to ketchup on a hot dog. Fml
Joseph9 4
That's the dumbest thing someone has ever said, lol.
zuzupetalsYO 11
*shudder
XThe_Invoker 4
Lmfao! epic XD! Got a clear picture now hahah
False_Stupidity 42
Damn, I'm never going to be able to look at a hotdog the same way anymore, thanks to this mental image...
brookie_092 4
Ick
sluggums 3
Yeah...not the biggest deal. im with leadman on this one, part the red sea dude.
NotSuchAFunTime 9
"And I parted the Red Sea. By that I mean I had sex with a girl in her period, that's right. I don't mind ketchup on my hotdog as log as the bun is tight!" -Jon lajoie Perhaps words to live by OP?
NotSuchAFunTime 9
**long
Alexisthebestest 16
Anything Jon Lajoie says is something to live by.
DelilahV 0
Guns don't kill people. Uh-uh. I kill people. With guns.
Alexisthebestest 16
"I can't put my penis in your college degree, and I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams."
vi3tno_romeo 5
The good comes to those who wait...
fthislyfe 22
fiancée* Plus, it's not a big deal. You've waited a long time. Can't you wait 3 more days?
Marcella1016 32
^thanks...I did get annoyed thinking the "fiancé" was a guy then finding out "he" was on his period lol fiancé = male fiancee = female
Marcella1016 32
Oh and to answer your question 9 I imagine since they've been waiting so long they were really looking forward to doing it on their wedding day and making the day extra special. Having to wait up to a week after the wedding just...sucks.
BlacOpsMaximus 5
If that you in your default pic then I must you are beautiful. Sorry I'm kinda trolling.
Cinn_fml 23
If it meant that much to them, then they should've taken her cycle into account when they picked a date. (Though granted, they might've done and it caught 'em by surprise.)
hayq 5
36-Well considering weddings can be planned out a year or more in advance, it would be hard to know exactly what date would be best.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Hayq, are you a guy? A girls normal period is always predictable unless something big happens to change it up.
VeganVampyre 27
45- most women have a fairly regular cycle, like, it starts on every full moon or something. So then all they would've had to do was look at a calendar and plan the wedding for a week or two after the full moon. They probably just didn't think of that.
Vasin_fml 15
Yes some women, lucky ones... Others are very unpredictable and move every month.
MissKrissy 5
Totally untrue. Hormones can't truly be predicted and 75% of women have period NOT on a regular basis.
abceasyas123abc 12
Seriously, 58? On a full moon or something? If it weren't for your profile stating your age, I'd seriously be questioning whether you'd even experienced puberty yet..
none_for_me 5
We can predict my wife's time maybe a month or two in advance. Trying to predict a year out would be like Russian roulette. And we have over 7 years of charts to go by.
missyj0 12
Being really excited or anxious can make your period come earlier then normal, and I'm pretty sure your own wedding coming up would excite you/make you nervous. So they could have planned it but she got it early.
aruam365 24
58- I wasn't aware women are werewolves! Hah, but I agree with what you meant. Her schedule should have been predictable enough to avoid that problem at least.
Cinn_fml 23
I did say that it wasn't always predictable, but even if there is some unpredictability, you can usually hazard a decent enough guess. Obviously, it's more difficult with some girls than others, but I reckon it'd only be absolutely impossible for a minority.
hayq 5
57- nope, I'm a female and as much as I love discussing my menstration with total strangers, I can tell you that even when I was a virgin, my periods were all over the place. Some times they would be the textbook 28 days apart, other times they would be up to a week late. This delay throws out the cycle and meant that it was no longer at the end of the month, but the start of the next one. Making it impossible to plan out over a year in advance when I would have my period.
aruam365 24
191 if your periods are THAT unpredictable you should probably see a doctor. Birth control works wonders.
Alexisthebestest 16
A lot of things can change the cycle of your period. I've been really stressed out these past few months, and I didn't have my period for 2 months until a few days ago. Sex on a period isn't that big of a deal. I mean, I don't think it is. Just clean up before.
joa76 3
I like how you seem to think a week late is really irregular. In all reality, MOST women can be a week or so off pretty frequently. That's not very irregular at all. It's pretty much completely normal. Plus, it's affected by stress, which I am going to have to assume is something most people experience when planning a wedding, so it's very reasonable that she would be a bit off at that point. But seriously, most women are not perfectly regular, and it gets a tad annoying sometimes to hear "But you should be able to know precisely what day your period will start a year from now because that's how that works!" No, no it doesn't. Not for most women. Also, even if she is really, really irregular, consider the fact that both she and the OP promised to remain abstinent until they were married. Tell me how likely it is that she would have considered birth control to be an option. I'm not saying it's not possible, I know there are a lot of people who don't have a problem with it, but particularly if they remained abstinent for religious reasons, a lot of people think that birth control is totally and completely unacceptable. Or she might have been afraid to take it before she got married because people might think she was having sex when she wasn't.
joa76 3
Edit: I retyped everything because the first one didn't post, and then they both posted. Sigh.
OverFlash 15
All I have to say is: Birth Control Pills. My GF has been on them for about a year, and she's been off by a day at the worst.
bdemore 3
that's not nescessarily true some girls cycles very by 5-7 days so your comment dosnt apply to everyone
Corcas_fml 0
regular period? I call shenanigans because mine plays ******* hide and seek.
DelilahV 0
In 58's defence, I had my period every full moon for an entire year. That's how my boyfriend could tell...and that was after my cycle went out of wack, before that I got it every new moon. So for some girls that definitely could work.
Cinn_fml 23
Hayq - Being up to a week late isn't really that irregular. Especially as some girls can skip them altogether, be weeks early, or late, or even on time during the course of a year. Granted once a girl has "grown up" she's supposed to have regular periods, but that's not always the case. But it's probably an idea to chat to a doctor about it if they really are highly irregular. Basically what Joa said. However, Joa, there will be very few women who can tell you EXACTLY what day they'll start on (like you said), but I imagine most would be able to hazard a guess as to within a week-long time frame or something.
shrdlu 28
They may have to wait a week, but I'm pretty sure they'd rather do that than feel guilty and hypocritical about having broken their promise before that.
CasCake96 3
Number 57, something big changing? You mean... Like her wedding? Duh, stress is a big factor on that sort of stuff. It was probably stress induced
TheTehOhPeh 4
When I first read this I thought he was implying that her period was caused by her not staying abstinent...
milansarpal 0
same here lols
catlover98 0
Me too
sassygrl5 0
Ya me 2