Cinn_fml

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

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Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

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Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

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Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

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Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

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