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Show it anywayI think this was supposed to be an FML because he was cheated on, not because he believes in sex after marriage. And you're being kind of an idiot with the whole "you deserve it for believing that". Not everyone has the same views as you. And the girl got pregnant not because the boyfriend was "holding out" on her, but because she is untrustworthy (or a two-faced *****, whichever way you wanna look at it).
So many people have a problem with people who choose to wait until they get married to have sex because those people feel ashamed, mad, insecure and guilty because they couldn't wait. People who choose to wait hardly ever bash on other people who chose to have premarital sex and usually don't mind even if their partner isn't a virgin because they respect the decisions and choices made by others.
Why wasn't he supposed to believe her when she said "no I want to wait"? "LIAR! YOU WANT TO **** ME RIGHT NOW, DON'T YOU!? FILTHY *****!" ? It sounds to me like she was probably cheating on him the whole time. And there's nothing wrong with waiting. And I find it funny people always assume it's done for religious reasons... some people just want to wait. Oh well. That's them, not you. People bitch about how everyone tells them when to have sex... but you're doing the same for bitching at them for waiting.
its a miracle!! a virgin birth =P
Parthenogenesis ftw. oh man... can't wait til House comes back on
lol #37 that's the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. Marriage is an arbetrary concept, and to be quite honest I can't say I feel "ashamed, mad, insecure and guilty" for not waiting. I never had any intention on waiting, I see no point in it, sex is natural and a positive thing. It's also social, which is why couples that claim to want to wait for marriage so often give in and have sex with each other or fall apart. Sex is a natural, social thing for couples to do, so not doing it to marriage is an arbitrary punishment which people inforce on themselves, usually do the their religious beliefs. That being said, no one deserves to be cheated on so the OP does not DI
WAIT?! I don't think people who wait are stupid. I think personally it isn't very good for a relationship but im not gonna bash people who wait. I don't think waiting was important so i didn't like i said i don't bash people who wait but almost everyone who finds out bashes me (not many people do but still). So that one comment was totally a generalization and not factual!
wow18 - I actually think that the opposite is true. Many people I've met who have chosen to wait until marriage adopt a "holier-than-thou" mentality, and automatically assume that by choosing to fornicate you're a *****/ and or are going to hell for being a dirty *****. Then again, not everybody is like that, the same way not everybody who has sex is a *****. I personally think that waiting until marriage can cause so many problems in a marital relationship; as I also think that it will push somebody to get married sooner than they should because of the urge to have sex. I also believe that it puts an unruly amount of pressure on any sex it is that you have on your wedding night, or thereafter. Too each their own though - the decision is one that's personal and should be made the person themselves. This FML though, begs the question: did the fiancee feel the need to pretend to be a virgin, and pretend to want to wait until marriage, because that is the way the OP felt? I've known girls who've lied about being virgins, because they like the person they're with, and that person feels that way (sex is only acceptable after marriage) and don't want to tell them otherwise, out of fear that it would scare the guy away. Many of those same girls, were also pressured by their boyfriends' pushing the belief on them in a way that held no tolerance for anything else; leading them to feel they could never be honest without being shunned. If that's the case it's a mixture of FYL/YDI. Otherwise: FYL. If you really love her though, stay with her. If you have any doubt in your feelings for her, don't marry her or stay with her, because it will only lead you to bitter resentment for and the mistreatment of the child that's not yours. Think of it though -- it's nine months of free contraception! ;)
@ 110 Actually, contrary to what you said, couples who decide to wait usually don't fall into temptation and if they do, it is a proven fact that they regret it. Sex is designed for marriage only, and that is why its so much more satisfying and guilt-free if it is done in proper context. People who are secure and brave and confident enough to wait are awesome. It shows strength and awesome morals. And this way, when they finally get married, they wont be comparing their partner to anyone else. Its more special that way. Oh and p.s. Its not "do to religious beliefs", its "due" to religious beliefs.
@139 ...Sex is designed for marriage? Sex is designed for marriage? Well colour me confused because I must have missed all the ape churches and the dog wedding receptions. Funnily enough, sex is "designed" to be social, enjoyable and to pass on genetic information, it is not designed for marriage. Marriage is an arbetrary and unnatural concept in a single section of a single species. Also I'm gonnna need a citation on your "Proven Facts" there by the way, admittedly I don't really have any facts on hand to counter it, but I don't know of a single "Waiting for marriage" couple who have lasted, in either meaning of the word. And Sex is more satasfying if you wait for marriage? Is running an olympic race more satasfying if you never even practice? Oh and P.S. spelling and grammar corrections are the signs of a failed argument.
OH MY GOD PEOPLE. seriously? sex isn't designed to be social, and it isn't designed for marriage. SEX is designed for procreation. without sex, we would be extinct. THAT'S WHAT IT'S DESIGNED FOR. c'mon people. think, please? another thing. waiting for marriage is a personal decision. it is up to that person and that person only. if someone decides to wait, then that is a totally respectable decision, because it is a difficult task. although, if someone chooses not to wait, that's fine too. it's none of ANYONE'S BUSINESS. and, OP, that really is unfortunate. even if she didn't cheat on you, the fact that she lied is FML worthy itself. I'm so sorry. I hope everything gets better for you. & I respect you for your decision.
#6, There really are people who don't wait to have sex, but aren't "obsessed with sex nd lacks selfcontrol." I'm not waiting until marriage, and I find it offensive that you consider everyone who isn't waiting to be *****. Telling off someone who is bashing other peoples views is fine, but then when you go and bash their own views in the same comment, you're just being a hypocrite.
gotta love the sex before/after marriage debates! :D
178 speaks truth. Seriously. It's someone's personal choice. What someone else does sometimes isn't what you do... that's how life's been for our entire existance. Everyone bawing at each other for what they choose to do when it comes to sex... it's so hypocritical. "You're not being open-minded because you don't agree with how I do things!" is basically how both sides sound. =/ And sometimes sex is important, sometimes it's not. Assuredly, when you are in love with someone, there are things that attract you to them BEFORE you have sex. (Note: I said "when you are in love" or, if you have a crush... not if you are just plain intending to **** them as quick as possible). It seems to me, when you play Twister with them, and they're good, well that just makes them all the better. If they're not, oh well, you have the rest of them to enjoy, and they can practice. Practice with YOU. Think about that... if they really want to improve, that means lots of lovin' And really, anything negative about someone's performance CAN be fixed, so there's no "test driving" someone like a damned car. You shell out money to fix the car, but it costs nothing to fix the person... well, unless they have ED (guys) or ah.. whatever you call when you can't properly lubricate (girls). And of course toys can help too... but that's all a great deal cheaper than a car, and if you care about the person then it's no problem to help them, whether it's with some inability or with just plain getting better.
YDI for 1) going out with a religious freak, or possibly worse 2) going out with someone who is afraid of sex but doesn't have the excuse of ancient superstitions to explain that fact.
Wow. That is a truly MASSIVE mood whiplash going from #181 to #198.
Soo she cheated..?
ahah win :-)
I agree with you 100% (:
Waiting for marriage can be either for religion or just for personal preferences. For me, it's both. Now if my fiancée has already done it, I wouldn't care as long as he didn't have some STD. Oh, and whoever compared waiting until marriage to running an Olympic race with no practice, is totally out of line in my opinion. They are two separate things.
I agree with you on this one..
this might be the dumbest comment on this entire app.
So according to you if some believe that having sex is another part of getting to know your partner before marriage, they hold no morals???
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayIt's funny how people comment on older comments just so people can read it.
Uh oh, looks like your family is starting early! Shot gun wedding :)
your own fault. Obviously she doesnt believe in saving yourself untill marriage and she had a need you werent able to fulfill There was lying in your reliationship and a lack of communication. (she was lying and you werent talking enough)
Yeah, that is more likely. You don't cheat on your husband-to-be, just because your needs weren't fulfilled. You speak about it with your future-spouse.
how is it his own fault! its his belief and what he belived his GF belived in, so; what youse are basicaly saying is; he deserved it for being trusting. idiots.
very good! you figured that out all by yourself! hahaha your a df(:
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how is it his own fault! its his belief and what he belived his GF belived in, so; what youse are basicaly saying is; he deserved it for being trusting. idiots.
I think this was supposed to be an FML because he was cheated on, not because he believes in sex after marriage. And you're being kind of an idiot with the whole "you deserve it for believing that". Not everyone has the same views as you. And the girl got pregnant not because the boyfriend was "holding out" on her, but because she is untrustworthy (or a two-faced *****, whichever way you wanna look at it).