Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
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Comments (241)
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
jess6blondie9 3
Yes.. Yes we do.
kofinater 3
I still stick my penis into a sock and . . . wait what?
jess6blondie9 3
Haha..... I worry about you...
Agiggleaday 0
10, Don't worry every guy does.
RyanMacVey 17
hahahaha FUKK YOU !!
alexwhite117 0
I never have
dirtyblond 4
lol that's freakn hilarious though!xP
mendozaale 0
i've never stuck my penis in a sock and talked to it.... why would i??
MisterMuffinz 13
Cuz it feels niiiiiiiceee... 8)
mendozaale 0
hmm really? hmm lets see... ooo it feels comforting :D
Agiggleaday 0
I have 3 perverted brothers that is why I say that.
kthaxbye1004 0
ahahahahahahahaa!!
mendozaale 0
hey everybody my sock puppet, called him Pepito, says hi :D
mendozaale 0
it'll be wierd if u have a arguement with ur sock puppet XD
T3P33_fml 0
no socky, stop! stop puking everywhere! baad sock!
Pawned71 0
#1 WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?
mendozaale 0
hahahaha u should keep that sock on a leash XD
mendozaale 0
hey #71 thats wat i was wondering :)
TayonaC 10
71,74 because she's got good genes?? that's like asking why are gorillas hairy? they just are and always will be. :) lol I wasn't comparing you to a gorilla #1 I was giving an example ^_^
mendozaale 0
hmm #1 and #75 have good genes:)
Pawned71 0
(thinking) oh well... no comment
tesuan 0
This thread just got creepy.
mendozaale 0
hahah its mostly about penis sock puppets wat did u expect???
Autoshot 9
Yea you guys desperately need girls irl. Poor things..
mendozaale 0
well thats a little harsh :'(
TayonaC 10
aww lol no need to be mean
ifyouseekamy666 0
79 i like ur pikachu kitty.. o.o
memo619 0
this thread made me laugh :P and do I look 18? o.o (almost 19)
KiddNYC1O 22
Wtf is lool?
TayonaC 10
90 your almost 19?! no you dont look like it though you may in person, but as for your picture no. do I look 15? some say I don't some day I do
ifyouseekamy666 0
do I look 14? (13 in the picture)
TayonaC 10
98 no you look in mid- early 20s and 99 you look 16 in yours. what about me?
TayonaC 10
98 no you look in your mid 20s and 99 I thought you were 16 ^_^ what about me?
rockinroyalty 0
omg I love ut pic it's so ****** cute!!
ifyouseekamy666 0
u look 15 or 16 I think
Jizwold 0
who gives a shit how old u look? not trying to be mean but seriously
ifyouseekamy666 0
ur name is jizwold.. so shut up lol
TayonaC 10
thanks :) hah
TayonaC 10
aw don't take it as a bad thing. lol I'm sorry
prince122 0
lol ops name is hotastits WTF hes still creepy.
circlejerk69 0
the older u look the less you get Id. I'm a guy and I have never put my dick in a sock. that's just weird
ifyouseekamy666 0
I bet my moustache makes me look older right? hehe :3
schwebel 0
My sock puppets name is Pubert
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Was there mashed potatoes in the sock as well? :)
Taz_the_Spaz 0
Do i look 1?
jess6blondie9 3
Lol thanks 71. I got it from my mama(:
KristinaKreme 0
Yea You're really pretty Jesse. :) How old do I look?
jess6blondie9 3
Thanks! So are you Kristina! You look 15-16
KristinaKreme 0
Haha I turned 15 today. Thank you. :] Appreciate it. But seriously you're one of the prettiest girls I've spotted on FML.
jess6blondie9 3
Aww! Happy birthday! :))) And thank you so much!!!!
KristinaKreme 0
Hah thanks! :] And no problem!! :)
jess6blondie9 3
Welcome:) Hope you had a good birthday!
KristinaKreme 0
Aww thanks. :]] It was pretty good. Thank you. Lmao how did we turn an FML about penis puppets into birthday wishes? Haha.
jess6blondie9 3
Haha I have no idea! :D It's funny.
KristinaKreme 0
Haha it is, isn't it? xD
FailBear920 19
How owd do i rook?
Cshoc16 0
I agree with 71 haha
Prankster7o7 5
Guys! Rate me! How old do I look. :P Hahaha.
Cshoc16 0
154, I'd say 16 or 17, what about me? I'm told that I look older but idk :P
Prankster7o7 5
Yeah, like the feared naked baby pictures.
jess6blondie9 3
Oh gosh... Glad my parents haven't brought those out yet.
Prankster7o7 5
Mine have threatened to do so, so many times before, and let's not forget about the home videos. :O
xxphillyfreshxx 0
heyy wats up
jess6blondie9 3
Haha, I don't think that my parents have home videos. At least I hope not!
Prankster7o7 5
Hahaha, if they do they're most likely on VHS, so you're good. ;) But yeah, parents do know how to embarrass their kids.
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
war can u do
C6Racer 0
LMAO at your default, 191
trick619 0
I think he was doing more with the sock then just talking to it
smileeee_fml 0
loll thats wat i was thinking ^
pancakerocks 1
my baby pics r gone lucky me
panthercub94 0
hahahahahaha nice default!!!
omargod 0
lmao but obviously some people have better stories than others...XD
taco255 0
Hide the curling irons... D:
avatar0810 15
oooooooooooo burn
memo619 0
well, I used to pee the bed :P I'm sure everyone has those stories
jess6blondie9 3
Yes.... Yes we do.
tulsafml 0
I have stories when people invade my droors for sox to f* with... it gets worse
blaine72 0
why in gods name would you spell drawers like that D:
kennababy 0
why in gods name would you put a pokemon thing as your picture?
ImKindaABigDeal 6
Just out of curiosity what is God's name?
OMG_N3RD 0
God's name is God
Thanatos1206 0
God's name is Jehovah
kennababy 0
uh god haha duh :)
Jizwold 0
I am i am
NuttyLemonz 0
175's correct.
carcinogan 0
pokeball!!!!!
aardvarkish 17
God's name has two manifestations in Hebrew: Elohim and Yhwh. in Arabic, the Elohim is Allah, and there is no Yhwh equivalent.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
aussie_gemini 5
agreed 205.... :)
mjismyidol 0
good one
natalieb534 0
Uhmm not everone
bananal_fml 0
Ikr wtf
andreabeth95 2
hahah win^!
andreabeth95 2
#2*
gtkt3 0
^fail lol
pedosmurf 7
I stuck a carrot up my butt lmfao
MsSoulReaper 27
That's just not right. Some things should just stay a secret. FYL.
jess6blondie9 3
Haha I love you boners.
soccerchick83 0
Parents are just plain embarrassing.
persianjr1 7
go soccer!!
RyanMacVey 17
ahahahaha finally sumone more pathetic than me.... woah laughed at
chlobo13 0
hahahaha I read your story. I agree with this statement, much more embarrassing. xD but hey, if I was that girl, I would be cracking up at my boyfriend!
kennababy 0
ha your's for sure was not as bad as this. at least yours was on accident :)
Mama_Umbridge 8
AH DUR DUR DUR DUR!
alltimekyle 6
I absolutely love you! AVPS<3
Grimmerie 31
MAMA UMBRIDGE CAN I GO TO HOGSMEADE
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Kids all do stupid stuff and it will be your turn to put up with it, then later embarass your own kids someday!