By Jackedup - 18/05/2011 07:57 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks 72 514
You deserved it 4 964

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

She pulled a Mary on you.

iAmScrubs 19

Dr. Phil will know the answer!

Comments

wow shes sleeping around a lot if she doesnt even remember who she slept with and who she didnt. what a whore

iAmScrubs 19

Dr. Phil will know the answer!

I know the answer! bang her; then ditch the dummy.

sourgirl101 28

Dr. Phil is a "he" and he's bald.

you're obviously blonde though

18 are you naturally blonde? they were asking if ops girlfriend is blonde

prince122 0

wow sourgirl if anyone was gonna try and defend blondes you just fucked it up for them.

iAmScrubs 19

27- 18 was obviously making a sarcastic joke because he/she is annoyed that 12 replied to the first comment with an irrelevant comment that is not related to mine.

sourgirl101 28

27, 12 was replying to #2's comment. Sorry you didn't get the joke. I guess you don't have to be blond not to understand some things. lol

I had a hard time reading your comment... something about it just messed me up. No, I'm not blonde, it's just that when I don't completely read something, my mind subconsciously fills in the blank. I'm kind of slow. Just goes to show you that you're right: you don't have to be blonde to not understand something.

PurpleRae420 0

GOLD DIGGIN WHORE

Blake4477 0

I think he was talkin bout his pregnant girlfriend!((: I think but I'm not sure!((;

32: well thats a pretty horrible joke. please dont try that ever again

schaflava 0

I want to steal sourgirls identity. she's smart and has perfect credit!

lionandthelamb61 9

sourgirl, I am shocked (although I know I shouldn't be) at the perpetual stupidity and lack of senses of humor on this sight. I thought your comment was hilarious.

sourgirl101 28

lionandthelamb, thank you! I cracked myself up but you can't win them all over.(: 101, before my current job, I worked at a credit restoration place. It's super easy to fix your credit if you know how.

You're not cool because you do this!((:

Maury would be better for this. YOURE NOT THE FATHER!

108: plastic surgery

firstrecon 0

dr Phil= opra, I'm walrus form. stay away friend, stay away

Maury! Maury!

lmao, nice gal u got there....

muchagente 5

praise the lord!

She pulled a Mary on you.

now that was funny

Ingenious comment AND picture! Ladies and gentlemen, we have our new spotlight FMLer of the week.

okay that was genius

She's clearly an idiot. You've lucked out dodging a bullet. Wish her luck with the father and move on.

FML because child isn't yours or FML because you don't have sex?

I would think the FML is kinda both.

0opsie 6

I thought it was an FML because she cheated.

shakethat 10

agree with 64. it's not an fml that they didn't have sex because it'd could be his baby and they've only dated a month. with that given it's def fml for dating a whore who cheated and it's trying to lie and make him the father.

f his life cause the next thing she told him was that hE didn't sleep with her ... but shE had sex with him... while he was unconscious. awk.

Egnar 19

She didn't necessarily cheat - They've been dating for 1 month. It's very possible she's more than a month pregnant but is trying to rope him into it because she has no idea who the father is. . .Frankly, this is a girl you probably don't want to get involved with.

Well we don't know if she cheated. I think the fml is for having such a dumb ass gf! lol

True. What is the FML about?

exactly his gf is so stupid she thought she could get a baby daddy without sleeping with the guy first.

I thumbed your comment down because it doesn't necessarily take more than a month to find out if your pregnant. Seriously, you might want to read up in this. Knowledge is power and ignorance is how people end up pregnant without knowing who the father is.

softball1432 0

3 eweeks

I think it's the fact that she doesn't remember/ care wether they had sex or not

If she continues to insist tell her you'll pay for the paternity test if it turns out to be yours ;)

twittom 0

in the united states she's allowed to decline and not take any test and still get child support. see: any men's rights forum

LeelaD 0

Not if its court issued, then when it turns out not to be his, she'll end up paying for it

"WILL YOU BE MY BABY'S DADDY!!!???"

I remember that one... Ahh, the old days of FML...

Except if I remember that FML correctly she didn't ask him, she screamed "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!"

Eggers 2

if your girlfriend has to explain that she's pregnant AND that it's yours, you know something is wrong

look like you've had a coloboma

SunshineBoy21 0

That is hilarious. Of course not for OP but, the situation. The fact that she tried to pin the pregnancy on you even though you didn't sleep with her shows you that she is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Time to bail my man - put on your track shoes and haul ass out of there!

TheDrifter 23

She's a modern woman living a busy life. We can hardly expect her to remember which boyfriend is which can we?

"a few fries short of a Happy Meal" LOL, what the heck??? :0

ppatty 0

that's awesome lol

Eggers 2

few fries short of a happy meal... I'm going to start using that. P.S. I'm suddenly hungry for Micky D's

she's a few nuggets short of a 10 piece

Flutist 3

Looks like she can't remember which fry from her Happy Meals double dipped.

ArthursLifeSucks 2

No way can you leave now. You have AT LEAST 8 months of free sex! Bang it, bang it, bang it, dump it!

MerrikBarbarian 9

and you sir are a prime example of why even though im technically bi I've decided I'll stick with being a lesbian. :p

just a little fyi, you don't decide to be gay. it is "girls" like you that piss me and most lesbians off to no end. it is not a choice!!!! fucking idiot