Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
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Top comments
Mehness 0
She pulled a Mary on you.
iAmScrubs 19
Dr. Phil will know the answer!
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Comments (239)
sourgirl101 29
I bet you're glad you never did! Not your child, without a doubt!
missmaryb 0
Dump her. Not only is she a dumb ****, but she thinks you're a dumb ****.
raider27 7
Let's hope you broke up with her. It's obvious she's a little dumb
ysmipha 3
no 7: it's FML cause he's with her
spazmattic 0
stay with her and bang it out for a few months- she can't get pregnant if she's already got a bun in the oven!
CSRozell 4
that's a good idea unless she's one if those "I'm pregnant" bitches and is just extra retarded and he ends up knocking her up. lol
Bofferding_fml 6
and following your advice, you might not get her pregnant, but you might still get a STD from that ****...kids never think before writing...
kattyeyedkay 0
actually there are cases where a woman gets prego twice at the same time. usually the second one doesn't make it tho.
FYLimhoYDI 0
you are the op's gf aren't you? in order for that to happen, you would have to have sex within a few short hours of being impregnated by the first. stop spewing crap you know nothing about.
sheethapins 13
117 Double-tap?
kseizzle 0
My best friend is a twin and they have different dads. They found out when they were older and the mom was trying to find out who to get child support from with DNA tests. You can get pregnant again after already being knocked up but it has to be within a short period of time (I think just a few days to two weeks, can't remember exactly) that you have sex. And they're not the only ones!! It's not common but it does happen.
meetmissmayhem 4
218 - you are an idiot. Shut up.
mdwilde 7
You can't get pregnant twice unless you conceive twins. You certainly can't reimpregnate someone who is already pregnant. OMG, what are they teaching kids in sex ed these days??
meetmissmayhem 4
233. Thank you! Not sure why I got thumbed down. That person is stupid and gullible. Not my fault people can't handle the truth.
Z33F 2
U either got downthumbed because u didn't get he was kidding (I think??) or because ur arguing about the wrong thing...
EMTchic 14
Actually, 232, you really CAN get pregnant by two different men at the same time. It is exceedingly rare, but it is possible. What can happen is when a woman ovulates she sometimes sends out two eggs (just like how you get fraternal twins) but if she is sexually active with two different men, it is possible for one man to fertilize one of the eggs and a different man to fertilize the other. But the second egg would have to be fertilized before the first fertilized egg implanted itself in the mothers uterine wall, and that is why it is so very rare, because once the first egg implants itself the second egg will have to be implanted very closely after or else it will not grow/survive. But once they are both implanted, the pregnancy and birth process works the same as regular twins.
howsthisforaname 34
So basically a woman has to have sex with two different guys within a few hours of each other while ovulating and producing two eggs? Biologically I can see how that is possible but the odds of it happening must be infinitesimal.
Blueglasscup 18
Hey that's like that episode on Glee which I can't really remember because I don't watch it!
chino627 0
my ex did the same thing
Blake4477 0
I guess that's why she's your ex! right?!(:
GigaPudding_fml 24
At least you can leave her without feeling guilty about it? :)
staceysgenesis16 0
so im assuming shes your ex gf then?
jennt89 10
Ummmm... She's evidently not very intelligent.
ambowew 7
No, really?