Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
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Top comments
Zarcissa 34
Well, she's an idiot... I think you're better off. Why was she looking through your hard drive anyway?
jgwyh 18
Rookie mistake, always clear search history or change the folder name to anything but "****".
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Comments (236)
jddrinker 6
Who doesn't like lesbian ****???
Scoiattolo 10
heterosexual women?
wellthen7154 12
Actually #60, a lot of straight women still watch lesbian ****... (._.) they told me so.
TheMathMajor 26
A lot of lesbian women don't really like lesbian ****. It's made for straight men haha.
lailaxjan 11
Nah, a lot of straight women do. Personally, I'd rather watch two women than two men any day...I mean, who doesn't like boobs?
gmc_blossom 21
Well, if lesbian **** is made for straight men, then I must be the straightest of all men.
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
64, so those women that said that speak for the majority of the female population? I don't care for lesbian ****, but I must be wrong because a few other straight women do....
nix1993 41
I totally watch lesbian ****, and I know a decent number of other women that do, and some that wouldn't admit to it. Generally straight **** just kind of bores me, it's too much about 'showing off'.
lailaxjan 11
110, calm down. Their comment clearly wasn't serious. They made an emoticon face and everything!
Nazaress 13
@#121: Bullshit. Just because different types of people watch lesbian **** and other ****, that does NOT mean **** is made for "everyone". No mainstream **** is made for women, gay or straight, period. They can watch it but the target demographic is straight men.
epicfury26 13
A gay guy doesn't like lesbian ****?
TheMathMajor 26
109, I didn't mean that anyone other than straight men can't enjoy lesbian ****. I'm a mostly straight woman who does enjoy it occasionally. It is true that the intended audience for most lesbian **** is straight men and you can see this in the **** itself. The women use strap ons and there is a lot of penetration, they even give blow jobs to the strap on. Many lesbians have never been penetrated and don't find that kind of imagery arousing. That's all I'm saying :)
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
147, I'm not worked up. I just feel like he/she is making a general assumption based on a few people they know. I didn't say that 64 was wrong, I just meant don't assume all women are into lesbian **** because a few admit to liking it. I guess that comment sounded a lot more condescending in my head. And excuse me for my comment earlier, but it's hard not to take something a certain way when you've been criticized/mocked/bullied for years by people who feel like you're in the wrong for having different sexual preferences.
wellthen7154 12
Haha I was just saying that some straight girls do. Plus the face was for effect (/._.)/
jddrinker 6
182 how are you a mostly strait woman? You are either strait, gay or bi.
TheMathMajor 26
212, because I fall really close to straight on the Kinsey scale, I think I'm a 1.5 or a 2 i.e. mostly straight. I don't identify as bi because I don't think it describes me very well. The LGBTI movement basically embodies the idea that people should't be put into boxes when it comes to their identity, I think the labels gay straight and bi are just more boxes to put people in so I don't use them to describe myself. People just are, they don't have to be one of three choices.
Morqan_Freeman 14
Secretly gay because you have lesbian **** on your computer... hmm. Tell her that indeed you are gay, play the lesbian **** you have and beat off infront of her. Her stupid brain won't understand a damn thing. Be glad she left OP.
ItsAUnicorn 27
why did I read this in Morgan Freeman's voice? .-.
gmc_blossom 21
Probably because his profile picture is of Morgan Freeman. Just a guess, though.
ChristianH39 30
Rhetorical question is rhetorical
NordicPride89 5
Pretty sure that's not how it works.
littlem91 29
Welcome, cap'n obvious. ;)
FMLworthy5000 21
Here, we have a classic case of the hump and dump. also known as "looks for any excuse to break up"
Colonelul 2
Absolutely no loss. The is enough fish in the pound. Maybe you get one who's a lil' more smarter next time.
Morqan_Freeman 14
Grammar Nazies should be coming for you any minute now.
ffffffffck 13
Spelling snipers will come for both of you.
VampOfSavannah 31
Correction: "Absolutely no loss. There are enough fish in the sea. Maybe you can find someone who is a little smarter, next time." :)
Morqan_Freeman 14
Thank you, I can see clearly now the mistakes are goneee!
xrudeboyrock 29
no comma after 'smarter.'
lailaxjan 11
Have you ever tried editing a paper written by someone with grammar like this? It's miserable.
torbey 23
Anybody consider the fact that english may be this person's second language? Just a thought...seems like it to me.
sarahjanesmith 12
That is no excuse, if they want to call other people dumb while at the same time sounding like an idiot they should be prepared to take what they have dished out
VampOfSavannah 31
On the other hand, maybe SHE is the secret lesbian and she's just deflecting...
worthlessACfan 11
well why did you have **** if you have a girlfriend?
vipirius 18
Do you really have to ask that question?
VampOfSavannah 31
That is a completely normal thing for men to do. It doesn't mean they don't think their girlfriends aren't sexy enough, we are ALL sexual creatures. I don't see the problem. Plenty of women watch **** as well, whether they're single or not.
Anata_fml 10
Typical Question .... I don't know why you have thumbs-down!!
gmc_blossom 21
Because it was a stupid question. Even I were in a relationship with someone for a long time, I'd still watch ****. Hell, depending on the gender and sexual orientation of the person, we could even watch it together. **** is fun.
telli164 30
Yes, because gay people get off to lesbian ****...
unicornjoker 2
watching lesbian ****, i dont know if you're homophobic, but if you are, thats very wrong and perf.
Mynamewontfi 40
Well, it is gay **** in a way. But yeah, I don't know many gay men who enjoy watching lesbian ****.
telli164 30
I was being sarcastic
Mynamewontfi 40
I wasn't even replying to you ;)
telli164 30
Well then, I'll just be on my merry way
carbivore 10
I've heard of lesbian women who watch gay ****, though. Apparently lesbian **** is all for straight men (as a previous commenter said), and gay **** is closer than straight **** to what these specific ladies want. Not a lot of **** specifically made for women nowadays. *sigh, what a shame.
Nazaress 13
@#139: But gay **** is made for gay men? So all mainstream **** is made for men. I would agree that it's a shame that women are once again excluded from "man's world" but I actually disagree with **** as an industry given its high amounts of unwilling/kidnapped/raped female participant.
limabeans101029 20
139, I kind of agree with you but a lot of women actually do enjoy lesbian ****
laden_swallow09 34
139- Sure there is! It's called erotica.