By fuck russia and fuck georgia too - 09/03/2014 18:38 - Azerbaijan

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 984
You deserved it 10 354

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You don't need that negativity in your life. Good riddance.

If she gets jealous of your own hands, you're better off without her


You don't need that negativity in your life. Good riddance.

Definitely. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. Usually, couples like it when their significant other does it. Whoever has a problem with it has some serious issues.

"nothing wrong with masturbation" "nothing wrong" "with masturbation" Here's where you're wrong. "Science has proved masturbation is bad for you, as proved here: **** addicts were found to have chronically low dopamine levels all the time between **** sessions. In other words, if you watched **** on a Saturday then did it again on a Wednesday then most probably you will suffer from low dopamine levels sat through wed! In other words, you will feel more anxious, less confident, more depressed until the next session which will only elevate your dopamine levels for few hours then reduce them to a new low after you are done!" From:

Oh, 53. Righty is all you need for now, but sex is like a misdemeanor. The more you miss it, the meaner you'll get!

Well, my reaction was the same when I saw my boyfriend doing it. I normally don't mind it, but lately I was literally begging him for sex and he kept saying he was too tired. I am just saying that there could be other side, but I agree that dumping him was an over reaction.

There's nothing wrong with not being comfortable with either of them masturbating, my husband feels the same way she does, but she is an idiot for never talking to him about it.

well, on the plus side, your hand will never leave you so there's that..

If she gets jealous of your own hands, you're better off without her

I'd put money on her having 'finished herself off' before, bet she doesn't see that as cheating. Last time I walked in on my ex jerking off I finished for him... I don't really see the problem, or even why it would bother anyone.

NiceGuysDoWin 21

Agreed. I don't understand these people who are so jealous of their partners. Masturbation is healthy, **** isn't cheating, and strip clubs are fun - for both partners. If my wife wants to go to a Chippendales show, I'd be more than happy to let her go, and she's paid for lap dances at the strip club for me. Same goes for fantasies. If I'm going down on my wife, and she wants to daydream about Bradley Cooper or Christian Bale, and it helps her to get off, why would I care? I understand wanting fidelity, but being jealous of fantasies and masturbation speaks to a deep level of low self esteem that is simply not healthy.

Better getting off without her that is

According to her definition of cheating, washing herself in the shower would be cheating.

What a bitch. If she's that stupid, she didn't deserve you

DalPozzo13 10

At least you still have your hand

Your hand will always be there for you through ups and downs... ;)

PALMela will do just fine because she knows what you like!

Plot twist, she took his hand with her.

\ 28

Professor Hans Jerkov will teach you everything you need to know about love.

All Jack needs is his Jill. if you don't get it, just look at your hand. your fingers form the word Jill...

Blow it off, you're probably better without her.

Come on, Op, Hannnnah is the biggest **** out there. You Deserve It.

I don't think OP mentioned anyone named Hannah.

Talis99 26

Hannah is his hand, but for "her" to be a **** op would have to be jerking other dudes off which I highly doubt. Just a bad joke all around.

For someone with a lack of intelligence like that, sorry OP but you might be better off in the long run. What if that had happened years later? Would have been worse for everyone, mainly you for wasting all that time with her. Nothing like being a free man again

I don't think it's a lack of intelligence. The problem seems more likely that she's insanely controlling and perhaps a tad crazy.

CoriCat 25

If you have a girlfriend, why are you jacking off? It would bother me too. Not enough to break up with someone, but it would make me feel like I'm not enough

And if he's jerking it to the thought of his Girlfriend? Is she still not enough?

I wouldn't honestly care as long they are thinking of me while doing it. I don't see a problem.

um regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not people can pleasure themselves when they have the urge to. if you're seriously bothered by THEIR OWN HANDS you should really work on your self esteem. next thing you know you're gonna be bothered by them watching tv cause you're not enough entertainment

You realise that most studies say people who mastrobate in relationships are most sexual satisfied

Coricat, do you have sex every time your significant other wants it? Are there no times you're horny and don't want to worry about having to get off someone else? Sometimes people wanna quickly take care of themselves.

G_bear, why do you care who people think about? I don't care who my partner thinks about, if they wanna think about some celebrity, or some random attractive person, it doesn't hurt my ego, and if it helps get the job done, and makes people less likely to cheat, all the better.

xcookie_loverx 3

my boyfriend and I ********** together. Many couples do, so I suggest you stop being an idiot and read up on it.

Guys are gonna **********, just like a female will, its not cheating or a crime so I don't see what the problem is.

sounds like you got some problems to work out before you get in a relationship

Tygerarmy, am I the only girl like in the world who cares a little bit about if my boyfriend is jerking off to the idea of another girl?

#73, it would only bother me if my boyfriend was beating off to the thought of like, my sister, or a family member. other than that I don't see an issue with who he thinks about. Nor do I care if he wants to beat off.

@53, do you consider watching **** cheating?

If it's a girl they know and are lustfull after I might be a little jealous but nah not really I mean. It's his jerk off time. As long as he's faithful.

Nutellacat, I understand why you care. But caring about why is almost as bad as all the FML's where a person gets mad at their significant other in their dreams. You are upset over a fantasy and something your partner can't control.

i dont know if its just me. But I dont ask my boyfriend who he was thinking of while jerking off! i dont wanna know and im pretty sure he dont wanna know who i fantazise about

Oy, you've got some issues to work through then. Masturbation is natural and healthy. You're not always around for your s.o. and sometimes they just don't want to have sex or have you pleasure them. You need to learn to accept it.

Well to have to realize, guys are in their sexual prime when their in their teens/early twenties. That why their constantly horny. Women reach the sexual prime in ours 30s. So, no, it has nothing to do with whether the partner is good enough. Sex is rarely enough for guys

xcookie_loverx 3

89: Why would watching **** be cheating? My boyfriend and I watch it and *gasps* sometimes we watch it together.

Lol thats a bullshit lie that a guy makes up to make his girl feel better. If a guy chooses to jack off to a **** with fake **** and made to look like a sexual object, he sure as hell isn't thinking about you. Not to be rude but it's the truth. They think with their boners not their heads.

Is Palmela Handerson prettier than her?

I thought it was funny, not sure why you're getting thumbs down.

You had a gay relationship with your hand :)

I don't think hands have a gender, there are differences in males hands and females hands but the hand itself is genderless.

what if he drew a mustache on it first...