By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom - Watford

Horrendous website content

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML

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Messed up

Instadrama

Our house, in the middle of our street

By thereisnobaby - United States - Cadillac

Today, I was met with an unfortunate clerical error, receiving a letter from WIC with a cheery handwritten note instructing me to call when the baby arrives. I guess they forgot I was there four months ago to discuss the changes in benefits after a miscarriage. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I've been using a clay pad to warm up my stiff neck muscles. I put it in the microwave as instructed on the box, just as I've been doing for weeks. This time, the bag exploded, splattering sticky clay. Now my neck is even more sore from reaching inside to clean the microwave. FML

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By ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

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By enderw - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

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By john - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

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By kagan

Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML

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By crop circle galore - United States

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lincoln

Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML

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By green2black - United States

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

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By Sudoc

Working too hard!

Today, after spending 6 hours straight working on a project at school, I decided to call it a night. The instant I set foot out of the lab, the building started screaming. The maintenance guy had set the alarm without telling me. The police had to let me out. FML

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By Sadman - Canada

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

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By Wet dreamer

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

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By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/7/2020 02:02

Hypocrisy

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

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By awkwardd - Hong Kong

Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML

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By davy0540 - United States

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

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By ClosetMishap - Canada

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

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By nicetoknow - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "unlike my boyfriend." FML

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By Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

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By No thanks - United States

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

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By farrahfarrest_ - United States

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

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By - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, when I went to my gp for an annual check up, I was complaining to the nurse about my chronically sore ankle. Turns out it has been fractured for 8 years. When I was 11 I was playing in my grans garden and went over on it. FML

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By Ashy104 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

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By demk - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

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By Amara1717 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

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By anna14 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

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By Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

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By Tor - United States

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

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By MartianTom - United States - Evanston

Today, the maintenance man for my building fixed my leaky sink. As he headed out the door, I said, "Thanks, Gus!" He turned around and said matter-of-factly, "My name is Eli." I've been addressing him as "Gus" for the past year and a half. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Smithville

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

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By glitterzebra - United States

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Ely

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

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By baddormgirl - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

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By eightleggedtictac - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

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By Nickel

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7973002 - Saturday 20 February 2021 16:59

Reddit seems like a nerdy site on the surface, there's some really dirty stuff on the subreddits and the domreddits!

By Bogrbon | 23

#7973038 - Saturday 20 February 2021 19:55

Depends on what subreddit we’re talking about. Is this r/callofduty or r/bestiality?

COMMENTS

By diraven | 14

#7972997 - Saturday 20 February 2021 16:25

There's a lot of freaky shit on Reddit

By RichardPencil | 30

#7973002 - Saturday 20 February 2021 16:59

Reddit seems like a nerdy site on the surface, there's some really dirty stuff on the subreddits and the domreddits!

By Bogrbon | 23

#7973038 - Saturday 20 February 2021 19:55

Depends on what subreddit we’re talking about. Is this r/callofduty or r/bestiality?

By Michael Sierra Keller | 2

#7973847 - Tuesday 23 February 2021 20:18

She probably did you a favor