Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
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By
Danny0522
| 8
So I'm not the only one that wonders...
By
missababgaga
| 19
Remind him that he is the father of your "Derp-Derp"
COMMENTS
By
Danny0522
| 8
So I'm not the only one that wonders...
Reply
Goldenchest
| 14
Derpy Hooves approves.
*ducks and takes shelter from imminent thumbs down*
*ducks and takes shelter from imminent thumbs down*
Reply
ynaynd
| 6
At least he didn't name her derpderp
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
OP's husband is an obnoxious jackass. That attitude towards his own daughter's curiosity is rudeness and insensitivity that borders on emotional abuse. I prescribe a remedial kick in the head, applied directly to the husband.
Reply
SamanthaCassieL
| 10
Anyone I know would have laughed at that comment if their kid or someone else's kid said that. But calling her names.. Rude. But what she said was absolutely adorable! Must be a cute kid!
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theten_fml
| 9
No wonder I was born with French fries in my hair!!!!
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P374RD3D
| 9
42 All dads fuck with their kids. I don't think that counts as abuse.
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GypsyRover
| 0
#42 must just be a HUGE sissy. Anyway,the dad could have handled it way better. If I were the mom I would tell her that when dad says derp derp to just leave him alone because he is saying mean things. And that she should tell him not to be rude.
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epicskier
| 3
I agree #1! Wtf does swallowing clothes, and the name derp derp have to do with each other?!
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epicskier
| 3
And people I know he was wondering about moms swallowing clothes
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DKjazz
| 20
61- You might want to rephrase that before the FBI finds you.
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MisterEx
| 28
Yes 73. Because teaching your daughter what a rude a.hole her father is, is much better.
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bestnameright
| 14
Haha good one didn't realize it could be taken that way!
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gc327072
| 29
42- head on, apply directly to the husband.
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doctorhook86
| 24
61 & 73: The guy is an adult male mocking a five year old girl for being curious. From this she's gonna learn that asking questions will get her made fun of, even by people she relies on. That's abuse.
Reply
botanistjessica
| 24
Do you have children? It isn't abuse. Adults say things that get them laughed at and they don't cry about it and feel abused. Kids usually like when adults laugh at what they say.
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S182
| 15
He might not be the father
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citymayer
| 7
101 to this day I am terrified to ask questions bc I was picked on as a kid by my dad and all of his side of the family. Dads should not have the right to mock their kids. It's awful and hurtful and if it was anyone else doing the mocking it would be called bullying.
Reply
LiterOfCola
| 16
Hahaha 42: what kind of a pussy lifestyle have you lived/grown up with to believe that this is "emotional abuse"?
Reply
AfrooMack
| 2
Shut the hell up damn !
im tired of everybody on here commenting these petty things like this!
get a life.. you sound stupid !
"I prescribe a remedial kick to the head, applied directly to the husband"
who says that ?
im tired of everybody on here commenting these petty things like this!
get a life.. you sound stupid !
"I prescribe a remedial kick to the head, applied directly to the husband"
who says that ?
Reply
AfrooMack
| 2
BlTCH
Reply
khaosblade91
| 6
Go home
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Judahsh
| 8
61- fuck with their kids? Sexual abuse? Lol
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P374RD3D
| 9
^That's what you took from that?
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bobman51
| 15
I'm sorry but that's a different proportion. I feel for you but that's a whole branch of family who made fun of you. For all we know she finds the name derp derp funny. After all she's probably only young and 1) doesn't understand what it means and 2) if she's sweet enough to ask something like that she would consider it as a joke
By
AGhost5445
| 25
I have always wondered that.
Reply
AGhost5445
| 25
Didn't see 1 sorry.
By
stolencookie
| 17
At least she didn't ask why moms dont swallow something else so that babies won't be born lonely..?
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
No. Just, just no.
Reply
Boygenius50
| 8
>Sees thumbs down
>Mob mentality kicks in
>Comments "No, just no" because that's what all the cool kids are doing nowadays
>Receives thumbs up
>Basks in own FML promiscuity
>Mob mentality kicks in
>Comments "No, just no" because that's what all the cool kids are doing nowadays
>Receives thumbs up
>Basks in own FML promiscuity
Reply
Psych101
| 9
29- Nah, it's cool. He added a second "just" in his comment to make it original and creative.
Reply
Pandacupcakelove
| 26
3- Kill yourself.
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evig_fml
| 16
29- thumbs down...because I'm a non-conformist!
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gc327072
| 29
78- if you're gonna say "kill yourself", you gotta have the right profile picture.
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Pandacupcakelove
| 26
104- darn it :(
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teentee401
| 36
No one should be telling anyone to kill themselves anyway. That's terrible
By
piff7
| 14
That's rude of your husband. Little kids don't know any better. You just politely tell them the correct answer. Not make them respond to names like "Derp-Derp".
Reply
samir1996
| 0
I love when people take FML's so seriously.
Reply
ptoka
| 20
I feel going to the mall would be easier... If your daughter gets lost just yell "derp-derp" and she'll respond
Reply
gc327072
| 29
Imagining the husband saying derp derp in a Swedish accent made this a helluva lot funnier.
By
Tolarie
| 13
Well she's five, so it's a valid question :P one of those "the things that kids say" I guess.
Reply
TomPusslicker
| 21
Exactly. Shes 5, its still adorable. If she were 25, thats a reason for concern. Dads a bit of a dick, but hopefully stops before she understands hes mocking her.
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PeteyPablo12308
| 20
I had to thumb you down simply because of your user name.
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TheMaster15
| 10
71- if we thumbed people for usernames, I would have named myself boobs, because everyone likes boobs.
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TomPusslicker
| 21
If im being thumbed down for my name alone, i just want to point out that it was the name of a reporter in a southpark episode, im not trying to pose as some kind of ladies man lol. I just found it to be a very amusing name.
By
bestnameright
| 14
What have you been CLOTHING yourself from that amazing theory?! Lol
Reply
Smashhoof
| 15
I don't understand what you are trying to say at all, but I think it starts out as "What? Have you been clothing yourself?" or possibly, "What have you been clothing yourself [in]?"
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kittytub
| 12
clothing = shielding. so shielding yourself/protecting yourself. I think =/
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ShyAnn29
| 14
6 has us all confused!
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tressie_fml
| 6
Uhhhh..... What?
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missababgaga
| 19
Clothing = Closing...
I think they were trying to say, "Closing yourself off from that amazing theory" There, problem solved :)
I think they were trying to say, "Closing yourself off from that amazing theory" There, problem solved :)
Reply
teentee401
| 36
false
By
dhall30
| 8
Oh cool make fun of your daughter for asking a fucking question, that will teach her for being inquisitive.
Reply
evig_fml
| 16
Daddy issues?
Some one needs a hug :3
Some one needs a hug :3
Reply
mariof13579
| 4
Maybe that's the point,maybe she's one of those kids that never shut up and ask questions alll the time? You don't know do you,so just shut it you judgmental fuck!
By
KaitlynNeal
| 13
lol im crying so hard
By
missababgaga
| 19
Remind him that he is the father of your "Derp-Derp"
By
zoPwNAgEzo
| 21
Derp-derp lmao. I hope she snaps out of responding to that soon