Miscellaneous: Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he...

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 548

You deserved it 2 908

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 258

You deserved it 4 195

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 602

You deserved it 6 920

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 173

You deserved it 3 215

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 247

You deserved it 5 880

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 840

You deserved it 37 567

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 730

You deserved it 5 212

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 209

You deserved it 5 871

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 179

You deserved it 3 343

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 3 347

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:02

Troll mom strikes again!

badwolfbluebox 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:03

Firstly though, your mother called you 'that' ?

Comments

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:01

Go up to her and say in a very patronizing tone "do you have your special friend?"

calilovesneb 12

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:06

Definition of a worthless parent right there.

TheKidEka 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:20

Hahah

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 8:26

Or, of course, just say: "Well someone slept with you didn't they? I think I'll be fine."

benmec 18

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:19

What???!! Your dad's name is Dan??

Kitties_Outcast 1

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:42

That's when you say I KNOW I WISH I LOOKED MORE LIKE MY DAD! lol jk that's awful that she woulda say that

R3kli3 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 9:52

Maybe your mom got jealous 'cause she knows she hardly gets some since she's always in the kitchen.

andrewsgirl2010 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:22

Ohh ouch :/ your mom sounds like a real bitch.

immaMonsta 8

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:37

My God...I hope for your sake she was joking. That's taking it too far. Parents don't seem to realize that what they say can actually hurt their child's feelings sometimes.