Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
Valentina_Baby 7
Troll mom strikes again!
badwolfbluebox 7
Firstly though, your mother called you 'that' ?
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Comments (194)
steelx3 4
"I think I got those genes from you, mom." L:
Meme1988 18
Maybe she is over protictive and this is her way of showing it.
Larion1 13
it will be easier for you to have a night at friend's house
mikeawesome 0
Immediate response would have been well if you got some then anybody can
rubberduckie94 13
As hurtful as it was I think mom did not mean it. You must remember you are her child and she is probably having trouble accepting that you are at this stage of life. I think this was an ill fated attempt by her at humor. I am sure your are a cutie.
SoultheWolf 19
I may not know you or this situation, but the fact that you were getting the sex talk means you're probably around 13-14. A young man at that age rarely showers, has a horribly messy room, and usually stinks horribly, if that's the case then YDI. If its not and you unfortuantely aren't as attractive as other people then FYL. I would've told my mom, "You do know that they say that sons look more like their mothers then fathers" as a payback though.
kei1108 13
..... There are six generalizations in this comment. WOW.
CommanderBalls 10
damn evil mom
hotshotsmith1 1
This is the funniest one so far today! Your mom is awesome!
sofie_mahjoub 6
Wow. You're mom is kinda mean. Just saying.
ninjduck 0
I see you are Canadian. At least you gave that going for you (and no that is not sarcasm)