By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Spicy
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 594
You deserved it 5 184

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That is NOT the sex talk. Your mom made you watch creepy porn.

Better than her making sure you're using proper technique.

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That is NOT the sex talk. Your mom made you watch creepy porn.

Yeah, she should have used magazines, like Jim's father!

It could have been worse... She could've shown you sex online and point out what's happening

You never know. . . Maybe that's the next lesson?

it could have been much much worse

Well I guess she wanted to make sure you were gonna do it right and wouldn't hurt yourself in the process. If that's possible.

At least she didn't get his dad to show him straight up now that would be fucked up

That is a little creepy. She should of asked "Do you want to watch guys jack off so you know how it's done?". It's not that hard, honestly. (it's hard for the guys though XD)

Wait which one is the bird and which one is the bee again?

Why call it "creepy porn"? Because it's men masturbating, and not women? Let's call it just porn.

I cringed while reading this.

88, how is it hard for guys to jack off? All we do is just move pur hand up and down. Dumbass

Better than her making sure you're using proper technique.

Either way that is still very creepy

It could have been a lot worse if she demonstrated it with OPs father... Positive thinking ey?

No, OP's uncle will be filming it.

@69 omg yes!

I understand why, but opine that #71 should not be getting thumbed down. #69 made a glorious reference to a previous FML; the comment number just happened to be what it is.

Yeah it's natural but it's not natural to watch videos of guys just doing that (I'm assuming you're a guy) Unless you like that kind of stuff ..

he must be a guy ,his mum just want himself to be aware of normally jerking off when being a adult,he shouldnt be shameful

Mom, can you please show me the women's version and leave the room?

If you hear noises I am taking notes

I like how you say "that kind of stuff" like dudes jerking off is something weird and not arousing to about half of the people on Earth.

What's not natural is watching this stuff with your own mother!

Reassure her by saying "Don't worry mum, everything is under control. I'm not a gynecologist, but I take a look anyway".

How old are you that she thinks she needs to still talk about this?

Perhaps this was her version of safe sex?

I guess sex is pretty safe, if you're too scarred to ever attempt it.

The greatest form of birth control? The opposable thumb...

To me, it's loud, obnoxious, crying children. When I see them, all I want to do is just stay the hell away from vaginas.

Im so glad my mom never attempted that talk..

Same, she just told me if I had questions to ask her or my dad

My mom just told me not to watch porn...

That's good advice, would give a teen a totally unrealistic view of sex

59 - That would be better advice. Every teenage boy is going to watch porn whether they are permitted to or not. The mother would have done a better job if she explained that porn is not a realistic portrayal of sex.

My mom just pretends sex or masturbation doesn't exist for me hahah

As a mother I would never do that! Your mum has major boundary issues (that's kinda obvious!)

At least they weren't home videos. Give her some credit for trying.

Lmao your comment is great.

Yeah, um, there's a button for that.

Hey, if you can't beat 'em... Beat with 'em?

First, you must watch them beat. Walk, then run.