Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
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Top comments
TheFlyingMan 8
I bet she's pretty good.
Asoka_fml_fml 0
you should've said "mom said your dicks small"
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Comments (88)
TheFlyingMan 8
I bet she's pretty good.
dre_bro11 12
Shhhhhh #6, she might actually do it!
TheFlyingMan 8
A bit insecure are we?
cojo1013 3
Put #6's head on #1's body, awesome...
ShadyFTW1 0
Nah, 6 is ugly simply because she's a bitch.
pollenta 0
I like the way your telling her to put her **** away, yet yours are hanging out as well. oh the irony.
DocBastard 40
I will NOT click on their profiles...I will NOT click on their profiles...I will NOT click on their profiles... *clicks on both profiles* Dammit.
Jonkbaby 23
huh? why did my comment get deleted? biased mods?
zinoxity 23
Off topic: I love your pic.
JahmarleyFOO 0
I love it too (:
that1guyyy 12
yeh who's the person in the pic?
BadasS14 0
like mother like daughter? hopefully lol...hmmm most likely
oldenuff2party 3
lol
soundingriot 6
hahaha, wow, that's definitely something you never want to hear from your parent lol
Jonkbaby 23
did you take notes
SarahStarzz 0
win!
bellaec825 4
ohh awkward much :/
CutiePie_101 7
That's really awkward, FYL :/
Im_ironman 0
5, I like your picture. op, YDI!
vclare 0
Scarred for life!
EmoLittleBish 0
lol yeah!
arund 0
lol
mariazzz 5
hilarious!!!! LOL
ImaginaryFoe 1
If you're a girl, go have the talk with the expert instead. If you're a boy, you are never going to find someone who measures up to mum. You will always wonder if your gf is better. Your entire sexual identity is twisted from this moment on, especially if you got aroused. Sucks to be you, mate.
RedPillSucks 33
Imaginary Foe, that's supremely messed up. Is it bad that I laughed?
Asoka_fml_fml 0
you should've said "mom said your dicks small"
kobster782 0
LOL!
whyfmlme 0
lmao. awesome
hiattebrittany 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaa agreed!!!
ismellladygaga 0
hahahaha! she must be pretty good xDD