Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
One night stand
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML
Gone
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Attraction
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Top comments
hairdreser0nfire 0
And I'm sure he left u a little parting gift. Get tested and dont have one night stands.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what happens when you let strangers in your house, dumbass.
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Comments (180)
elainelovesyou 7
Haha. Well.. I don't know what to say. That's totally awkward that'd he take your shampoos and stuff.. at least he left a pizza number so you order food.
skyfire1228 0
Protip: Don't **** the homeless.
elmorous 0
-911, what's your emergency? -Some guy just robbed me! -OK, the police are on the way, what did he take? -My blanket, pillow, food, shampoo and my virginity!
maphineRAWRS 10
win :P
CoolAsian 0
wow this is why you don't try to meet ppl online
SarevokRob 1
YDI for being a whoore
reddwarf_fml 0
ouch
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Had sex with some random stranger...... what could go wrong??
skyeyez9 25
I picture a man spreading out your comforter while piling frozen food and hygiene products in the center and then closing it up. So he can carry all of it out.
geekychick 1
seriously!!! why do people just have sex with anyone????
rgermain 0
Mmmm pizza!