Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
hairdreser0nfire 0
And I'm sure he left u a little parting gift. Get tested and dont have one night stands.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what happens when you let strangers in your house, dumbass.
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Comments (180)
sjoe789 0
at least u aren't tempted to eat any cold icecream now :)
lilybugie 0
dick.
torilynn4403 0
you shouldnt be sleeping with random people. What A H**.
muzicman25 0
well now u can say u donated to the homeless
alakae 6
so did you have a one night stand with a hobo? cuz it sounds like it
jadejazmyn 5
When will you people learn not to sleep with people in your own homes that you don't know. Sheesh. YDI
siahbean 1
did you sleep with a bum ?
Wcngfl 4
haha the pizza thing is priceless hell yea ima have to use that one.
shoobop 3
sounds like everything a homeless man would take
COolErKiD1414 0
Haha I would be so confused!