Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
One night stand
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML
Gone
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Attraction
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Top comments
hairdreser0nfire 0
And I'm sure he left u a little parting gift. Get tested and dont have one night stands.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what happens when you let strangers in your house, dumbass.
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Comments (180)
CoachLlama 5
I wonder what he took that she has not discovered yet? Maybe he expects her to order a pizza for tonights "party".
maphineRAWRS 10
yeah you deserve it for letting strangers in your house and banging them?
joolz_au 2
hmm he probably stuck your toothbrush up his but too.........that is the first thing I would get rid of lol next time try a vibrator.......it won't steal stuff
yusaku02 20
YDI for being a ***** =)
jinxthejinx 0
YDI for sleeping with a homeless man.
koldfire 1
I'm not homeless damnit. I needed to stop by the store but this was way easier and my comforter is in the wash.
Shaggy_92 5
wow what a fag.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Generally speaking, if you know someone before you have sex with him, this won't happen. If you know him at least well enough to have a phone number where you can actually reach him, this won't happen. I told the lady who woke up to a missing pillow and now I'm telling you: if you have to have the one night stand, go to his place (if you're trusting) or get a hotel room (best option). Why you would go to sleep with a stranger in your home is beyond me.
clintmaggard 0
hey cutie(: you should message me(:
BabesYourAStar 0
go to pizza hut. pizza makes everything better
lekiat 0
lol!