Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
One night stand
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML
Gone
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Attraction
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Top comments
hairdreser0nfire 0
And I'm sure he left u a little parting gift. Get tested and dont have one night stands.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what happens when you let strangers in your house, dumbass.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
rnbz 0
wow your a ******* IDIOT. Do they have a 1800 number you can call for a theif? I'm going to give you a layout of how your night was? you=yea let's get crazy and have a 1 night stand with a bum you= (10 minutes later) you see a bum! walk over there and say " well hi there would you like to come to my house and **** me? so the bums like hell yea I stank. Then after he finishes he says hahaha stupid bitch, ahhh great idea let's steal stuff to put in my cardboard box house like some blankets shampoo and what the he'll how about some food!
DineshKarthikesu 0
Damn.. he gave you the cold shoulder
ForeverYoung1 3
Well, you clearly slept with a hobo.
pvthill 0
I bet the guy who did this is amoung us mow gj man
77taylah33 0
YDI for not knowing the guy before sex.
therealducktape 0
You, madame, just got bummed by a bum. Better get yourself checked, he might left you a little something ;)
theshocker09 1
you got owned haha
EightInchNails 9
Ever seen Fatal Attraction?
ScreamAimFire 0
ahaha girl youu got owned, he's just trying to tell you you need better food and hair care products xD
lthomps 0
He was doing you a favor taking all of your frozen pizzas and giving you the number of a pizza place.
wtfsnickers 1
stop sleeping with the homeless guys