Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
hairdreser0nfire 0
And I'm sure he left u a little parting gift. Get tested and dont have one night stands.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what happens when you let strangers in your house, dumbass.
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Comments (180)
BadKitty13 28
Sounds Like something my X Boyfriend's Psycho Idiot Daughter would do. She was always bringing trash home and banging them in the living room. GROSS.
rgermain 0
no he was an herbal essences rep
toohottiedottie 2
ha! you got what you deserved. boinking random strangers may get you in trouble...
ammo777 0
wow... love all the "ydi for being a **** and having a one nite stand." apparently everyone using fml are Mormons and devout Catholics. quit being so f*ckin' high and mighty. bringing anyone into your house you don't expect someone to steal your property, common decency isn't so "common" nowadays tho.
EvilDave 13
No, when you bring a total stranger into your house and have sex with them and then go to sleep, if they steal something from you, you deserve it. You are the one that brought the stranger into your house and effectively left him alone by sleeping. It is your fault. You deserve it.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#137 I agree. I'm not a fan of one-night stands, but not for religious reasons.
Taipan_fml 0
I also agree with #137. Religion doesn't necessarily play into this. I'm sure many people who are into the one night stand thing identify as Christian, be it Catholic or otherwise. It has more to do with not being dumb and easy.
robertsoccer04 0
You might wanna go see if he didn't leave you with something else besides an empty house if you know what I mean lol
fishycanswim 0
Needs shelter, food and cleaning supplies... You did it with a hobo.
donicus 0
so he went the HOME shopping network?
gusgus36 5
haha thats kinda funny. I'm gonna go with YDI for hooking up with someone totally random who you knew nothing about. you took the chance that he would be some weirdo and guess what...he was!
seabass0911 0
probably happened cause you're fat
MissErikaHart 0
ohhhhhh