Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
that would have definitely irritated your ******.
xlossofmex 0
interesting birth control there.
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Comments (156)
TheRipper_fml 0
This is the fakest FML I've read. Get a life. What benefit would he get by having sex? If there's a sock on your dick, it would probably feel the same as jerking it with a sock.
MakeupBurn 0
Hahahaha! No brains and all penis!
lampkin_2010 0
dis is stupid
MiniatureMayhem 0
"Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met." Automatic YDI.
peach_blossom 0
You deserve it (though it sounds like a lie) for not being prepared .. don't 'hook up' if you're not going to be responsible about it.
xXPaigerzXx 0
haha wtf? sex fail right there.
me5 0
Improvisation is what adds fun to sex
Bella910 0
wat the...ewww u can ew he's so effin disgusting I hope he was joking
aeiouxuoiea 0
@CallMeHush perfect comment. and let's not all call her a *****...one night stands are usually with people you just met. just as much reason to call the guy a *****.
Erindub 0
And did you stop him?