Intimacy: Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting...

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 949

You deserved it 6 450

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 5 064

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 476

You deserved it 5 310

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 742

You deserved it 23 888

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 558

You deserved it 17 976

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 896

You deserved it 40 459

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 161

You deserved it 11 993

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 982

You deserved it 4 696

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 534

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 391

You deserved it 6 024

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 73 967

epoh_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:33

that would have definitely irritated your ******.

xlossofmex 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:11

interesting birth control there.

Comments

TheRipper_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:35

This is the fakest FML I've read. Get a life. What benefit would he get by having sex? If there's a sock on your dick, it would probably feel the same as jerking it with a sock.

MakeupBurn 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 20:26

Hahahaha! No brains and all penis!

lampkin_2010 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:00

dis is stupid

MiniatureMayhem 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:12

"Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met." Automatic YDI.

peach_blossom 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:27

You deserve it (though it sounds like a lie) for not being prepared .. don't 'hook up' if you're not going to be responsible about it.

xXPaigerzXx 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:47

haha wtf? sex fail right there.

me5 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 22:23

Improvisation is what adds fun to sex

Bella910 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 22:30

wat the...ewww u can ew he's so effin disgusting I hope he was joking

aeiouxuoiea 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 22:33

@CallMeHush perfect comment. and let's not all call her a *****...one night stands are usually with people you just met. just as much reason to call the guy a *****.