Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
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Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
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Top comments
tyrob911 0
let's get this straight here. he texted her wanting to hook up. if you really understand that text, you'll know that the guy didn't care about pleasing her. all he wanted to do was nut and he did. he could care less how long it took him. his mission was accomplished.
summerloolooloo 0
I heard that there are new kinds of condoms which have some sort of a numbing cream on them. How about giving those a shot? HAHA.
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Comments (60)
jf7609 0
first!
k2cool_87 0
who cares....BTW keep numbing cream next time...
ic2drops 10
yea I bet thats what he said to
azurablade 0
SECOND!!!!!!
summerloolooloo 0
I heard that there are new kinds of condoms which have some sort of a numbing cream on them. How about giving those a shot? HAHA.
epoh_fml 0
way too, many commas, in this, FML. and FYI, this is a common problem for a lot of guys. have him ********** an hour before hand, and he'll last a while. Or, have sex again right after :)
Freeze_fml 16
You know he intentionally added unnecessary commas, right?
Freeze_fml 16
Looks like this FML got edited. When I first saw it, it had commas every two words.
FaustXIII 0
The amount of commas in this FML (three) is perfectly acceptable. They were used correctly. However, there is another problem: It was cut off. The rest goes: "...but I was held up by road work for forty minutes. Also, I am a nymphomaniac."
MrForgetable 0
The number of commas and usage is correct
uhohuscrewedup 0
distract him with tv or something next time, lasts longer.
tyrob911 0
let's get this straight here. he texted her wanting to hook up. if you really understand that text, you'll know that the guy didn't care about pleasing her. all he wanted to do was nut and he did. he could care less how long it took him. his mission was accomplished.
Bquillero16 18
HA! So true!
hXcsoccerplaya 0
true number 7. ya beat me to it
arjun22 0
don't be silly.... she was tottallyyy intoo hhiimm!!! she wouldn't of let him **** her brains out if she wasn't into him!!!
happypapp12 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Poor ******* you! Who the **** cares! Many women have the same problem but do they come on here and complain? no. Ydi for being a ****
sjmilla 0
totally agree w/ #10
Shystai 0
Priceless