Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
that would have definitely irritated your ******.
xlossofmex 0
interesting birth control there.
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Comments (156)
Sekococo 0
Y-D-I :D comment is not nessecary for this other then what i just wrote.
syikin 0
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
jonny2x4 0
What a cheap(and nasty) bastard! Doesn't he realize there's going to be a lot of chafing and risk of athlete's foot fungus on his ween and her vag? Just bareback it and hope he pulls out in time( yah right).
skyeyez9 25
you could have stuffed the sock into his mouth and left.
eoghanface 0
YES! **** yeahhhh....
sunshne 0
Preffered method of birth control; prayer.
ellawea 0
he is RETARTED...
chadwick110480 0
did u meet him just after he got off a short bus?
CallMeHush 1
A little ditty from my youth; In days of old, when Knights were bold And rubbers not yet invented They stuck some socks upon their cocks And pregnancy was prevented, Now you can carry it in your head too ;D
Ttime21921 0
lmao
samuelmartin 0
epic
chadwick110480 0
45- that was awesome.