Intimacy: Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting...

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 949

You deserved it 6 450

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 5 064

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 476

You deserved it 5 310

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 742

You deserved it 23 888

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 558

You deserved it 17 976

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 896

You deserved it 40 459

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 161

You deserved it 11 993

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 982

You deserved it 4 696

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 534

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 391

You deserved it 6 024

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 73 967

epoh_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:33

that would have definitely irritated your ******.

xlossofmex 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:11

interesting birth control there.

Comments

romain1975 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 5:29

I wonder if it was a TUBE sock????LMFAO!!!!!

littlemissbitchy 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 5:33

Don't keep us in suspense... Did it work??

alex1432 9

Thursday 21 January 2010 5:59

just use Saran wrap

meejee23 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 6:26

ahahahhaha "somethingnew24," you made my day.

meejee23 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 6:26

ahahahhaha "somethingnew24," you made my day.

gotgoodz21 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 7:17

I pray that you didn't actually go through with it ... I imagine the risk couldn't be worth the sex

razz27 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 7:53

hahaha talk about rocking my socks off

joolie 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 8:18

eww talk about all kinds of infection.

cmac86 23

Thursday 21 January 2010 8:18

if a sock fit down your ******, having sex with you must be like putting a cocktail weenie in the taj mahal.

sarah89_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 1:40

lmao

viper37 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 9:50

****!!!

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 17

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 106

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Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 314

You deserved it 1 782

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 6 843

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 185

You deserved it 8 335

Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 175

Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 536

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 308

You deserved it 9 613